Waiting for Wilton

Well, now that we know that Mitt Romney won't be getting any closer to the Oval Office than Barack Obama's lunch table, that panicked Republicans are about to tax the 1 Percent and welcome millions of undocumented American immigrants, and Philly.com has a pot columnist, it feels like there are no more political worlds left to conquer.

So let's do something we haven't done moch around these parts. Let's talk about sports!

So what should we discuss, Philadelphia? The prospects for the final five Eagles games of 2012? The prospects for the first 25 Phillies games of 2013 without the stimulation of their catcher Carlos Ruiz (now one-half of the drug-comedy duo, Chooch and Chong)? The prospect that an ice hockey game will ever be played again? Or the ever-shrinking knees of Andrew Bynum (whose NBA gear is for some reason selling very poorly, although I hear his new pro bowling line is a big hit)?

Let's face it, it's reached the point where the best news of the day is waiting on the arrival of a man named Wilton (the one pictured on the left).

There's only one question left. Has there ever been a worse time to be a Philadelphia sports fan? (Maybe...1972?)