No one expects the Cheney inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as....

....attention grasp, walling (hitting a detainee against a flexible wall), facial hold, facial slap, cramped confinement, wall standing, stress positions, sleep deprivation, insects placed in a confinement box, and waterboarding.

I don't know guys, it was a lot funnier when Monty Python did its version (below). This list -- coming from the United States of America -- is just kind of grotesque, and an affront to the Founding Fathers.