George W. Bush misses 'being pampered'; thousands miss 'breathing'

George W. Bush is finally cleaning up mess the mess he left behind -- well, OK, .0.00000000000000000000001 percent of it:

George W. Bush says now that he's left to walk his dog alone around his Dallas neighborhood, he realizes how much he misses the perks of the White House.

"I miss being pampered. I miss Air Force One. I miss being commander in chief of an awesome group of [people]," the former president told a whistling, fist-pumping crowd of 2,000 supporters in Texas this past Tuesday, according to the Tyler Morning Telegraph.

"Ten days out of the presidency, there I was with a plastic bag in my hand, picking up that which I had been dodging for eight years," he said, describing how he suddenly had to clean up after his dog Barney himself. The crowd erupted into laughter, and at one point someone yelled, "Bring back Bush!"

So, Bush's idea of NOT being pampered involves retiring as a millionaire to a Texas mansion and enjoying baseball games and God's fresh air. That's a lifestyle -- OK, "life" would probably be more accurate -- that the thousands of victims of his reckless and criminal decision to invade another country without justification -- from the wounded Iraq war vets cluttering VA hospitals deep in the heart of Bush's Texas to the thousands of innocent orphans from the "shock and awe" that he rained down on Baghdad -- could not today fathom. How many people ended up not in a lush Texas subdivision but in a graveyard as a result of Bush's immoral war of choice?

You'd think that Bush would just want to keep his mouth shut and be glad that he's not sitting in a docket somewhere. Picking up dog poop is way too good for him.