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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

 

 

Have a happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. Sit yourself down, grab the serving fork, stab a few slices of turkey…but before you ingest, let’s first remember all that we have to be thankful for. Looking back at the long ’08 campaign, here’s my Top Ten:

Katie Couric. Her patient, persistent, low-key questioning of Sarah Palin convinced millions of Americans that John McCain’s understudy was an incoherent lightweight who had no business running for higher office. Thanks to Katie, we will forever treasure gems like this: “Our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of...As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.”

Colin Powell. While endorsing Barack Obama on the final weekend of the campaign, he not only condemned the Republican-abetted lies about Obama’s purported Muslim faith, he took the extra step of pointing out that, even if the rumor had been true, there is nothing sinister or unpatriotic about being Muslim-American. As virtually the only major political figure to take this stance, Powell performed a valuable public service.

The early Democratic voters. During the quartet of early contests last winter - in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina - these voters drove John Edwards out of the race. If they had not done so – indeed, if they had anointed him the front-runner – Edwards might well have emerged as the top alternative to Hillary Clinton, and perhaps as the nominee. Just imagine how the election trajectory might have been different if the Democrats had been saddled in August with a fresh sex scandal, starring a standard-bearer outed by the tabloids for cheating on his cancer-stricken wife. So thank you, early Democrats.

Open Republican primaries. Many states – including New Hampshire, Michigan, and South Carolina - allow independents and even Democrats to cast ballots in GOP contests. Republicans should be thankful for that rule, because otherwise the early party contests would have been dominated by religious and social conservative voters…and Mike Huckabee might well have been the prime beneficiary. Instead, McCain broke through, harvesting the votes of independents and crossover Democrats. Mac was hardly the perfect autumn candidate, but just imagine how the Republicans might have fared in November if they’d wound up nominating a guy (Huckabee) who doesn’t believe in evolution, and who says that his poll rating is controlled by God.

Mayhill Fowler. Give thanks to the “citizen journalist” (granted, a nebulous term) for scoring a couple big scoops on the Democratic trail. She’s the one who recorded Obama’s private fund-raiser remarks about how “bitter” small-towners “cling to guns or religion,” and she posted them on a liberal blog. She accessed the event without flashing any press credentials (is everybody a journalist now?), but that’s another discussion. The bottom line was, Obama’s poor phrasing suggested either that he was clueless about the nuances of small-town life, or that he wanted to curry favor with the affluent California donors in attendance. Whichever, Fowler provided us with a character clue about the candidate – just as she did on another occasion, about another noteworthy Democrat, when she goaded Bill Clinton into launching a rope-line rant about Vanity Fair political writer Todd Purdum (“sleazy!” “slimy!” “scumbag!”). Admittedly, though, this was not big news, because, by that point in the primary season, we already knew that Bill had become unhinged.

Joe Lieberman. Forget James Bond; it's Joe who gives us a quantum of solace. Joe gets our thanks for demonstrating the fine art of knifing somebody in the back, and twisting the blade for good measure. Pretty impressive, for a guy who prides himself on moral rectitude. In 2006, when Joe was besieged by antiwar critics in Connecticut, and his seat was seriously threatened, he asked for Obama to help save him. Obama dutifully showed up to help. So this year, Joe chose to repay the favor by slicing up Obama on the campaign trail. Last April, when McCain’s sidekick was asked by Fox News (natch) whether Obama is a “Marxist,” Joe replied: “I must say that’s a good question.” Given his knife skills, I bet Joe can carve a turkey with ease.

Seamus the dog. He’s long gone, but his legacy lives on, if only to illustrate Mitt Romney’s crisis management skills. Nothing better illustrates the fact that a candidate’s life is laid bare than the now-famous story of Seamus. Back in ’83, the future Republican aspirant packed the family station wagon for a 12-hour road trip, and decreed that Seamus would ride in a dog carrier strapped to the roof of the car. For 12 hours. It wasn’t long before liquid dog poop began to cascade down the windows (“Dad! Gross!” yelled one of the boys), whereupon Dad cooly exited the highway, found a car wash, cleaned up Seamus…and returned him to the roof of the car.  Thanks, Seamus, for the memory of businesslike Mitt at his most efficient.

The McCain message mavens. We should be thankful for their tips on how not to run a campaign. They scraped the bottom of the barrel on any number of occasions – heck, they kept lowering the bottom – but my favorite was this July memo: "Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars, and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew -- Black Forest Berry Honest Tea." In their minds, there’s apparently something sinister about rigorous exercise (as opposed to, say, the kind of obesity that contributes to our soaring health costs); there’s something exotically weird about eating protein bars (as opposed to, say, full-fat cookies and ballpark hot dogs); and there’s something odd or unmanly about drinking Honest Tea, which, in point of fact, is owned by the Coca Cola Company and is sold at convenience stores in manly neighborhoods everywhere. Let's give thanks to the Mac message mavens for expanding the parameters of campaign juvenilia.

Joe the Plumber gets our thanks for expanding our book-buying options during this holiday season. That’s because he has a book of his own coming out, "Joe the Plumber – Fighting for the American Dream.” I’m serious about this. He has a ghostwriter and everything. What’s next for this guy – a new show on the Fox News Channel, Hannity and Wurzelbacher?

The 22nd amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Let us give thanks to the provision that establishes term limits for U.S. presidents. Without that provision, maybe George W. Bush would have insisted late this summer that his dispirited party nominate him for a third term - and then we would’ve had to listen to him for eight straight weeks. But thanks to term limits, Bush is merely the lamest of ducks, wandering around Peru in an alpaca poncho. Is he gone yet?

BONUS: Palin and the turkey guy. You'd swear it's Tina Fey with Dan Aykroyd (Saturday Night Live, circa 1978) as the turkey guy, but no. Nobody could possibly dream up this juxtaposition of verbal prattle and goofball visuals. See for yourself, give thanks to true-life humor, and try not to lose your anticipatory appetite.

-------

I'm gone for the holidays; back here on Monday.


Posted by Dick Polman @ 10:29 AM  Permalink | 182 comments
Comments   
Posted 11:10 AM, 11/26/2008
CD75
Can there be any better of an example of biased, partisan, agenda-based "advocacy journalism"? Tierney, do something to bring the Inky back to objective journalism.
Posted 11:13 AM, 11/26/2008
NEPhilly
Mr. Polman, Katie Couric was condescending in her interview with Palin. She sould have been as cute/sharp when Joe Biden told her FDR went on TV during the Great Depression to calm the people and she just nodded and accepted it. Talk about a lightweight and down right shameful! As for Colin Powell, he is a disgrace too and a racist for backing Obama, against his political leanings just because he was african-american. As for Lieberman, he was the one knifed in the back by the Dem party backing someone else in the primary! He went with his convictions in the election against his own personal interests and that is what patiots are made of! Mr. Polman would not know about that as he is so far left as to almost fall over, at least pretend you see both sides of an issue, sheesh!
Posted 11:15 AM, 11/26/2008
CD75
Here we are going on a month after the election and Polman has nothing to talk about but taling tired, old back-handed shots at McCain and Republicans. Polman is trying to ride that old horse for all he can and to make the loons happy. The joyride is over Polman. Can you write anything original and future-thinking? 2009 is going to be a tough year for you.
Posted 11:19 AM, 11/26/2008
CD75
Fox News is very fair and balanced, unlike CNN, MSNBC and NBC. Are you jelous Polman because Fox News is Number 1 in cable? Will the Inky be around in 2010? Will you have a job?
Posted 11:34 AM, 11/26/2008
CB
This may be one of the few times Katie Couric is ever praised. Mark this day in your calendar!
Posted 11:47 AM, 11/26/2008
Gibba Mang
Can there be any better of an example of biased, partisan, agenda-based "advocacy journalism"?.....are you really this dumb? Polman is writing a blog in the OPINION section. Christ, you keep getting more desperate every day.
Posted 11:51 AM, 11/26/2008
chris duckworth
Who cares what Gov. Huckabee believes? Is your gripe with his faith-based rejection of evolution, or is your gripe with his public policy related to teaching science in the schools? For if you want to mock people for what they believe, why not mock Barack Obama for believing in a Messiah to healed the sick, turned water into wine, and who resurrected from the dead! Surely such belief is just as mockable as Huckabee's non-belief in evolution. If it is Huckabee's public policy - and not his religious beliefs - that you're critiquing, please be more clear in your writing. But if you're going to assail politicians for their religious beliefs, please take aim at all of them.
Posted 11:54 AM, 11/26/2008
gee1971
He's so awful, you two nitwits waited all of 30 minutes to read, as you do everyday, and comment. And as for Tierney making a change, this is an example of pretty basic free market principles at work, no? Supply and Demand. You keep demanding, they'll keep supplying. Stop reading morons. You know what I do about Fox news? I turn it off. Frnakly I never turn it on, but...whatever. Pahlin is an idiot, nothing you say or do is going to change that fact. The image of her potentially governing this nation is frightening. Maybe Katie just didn't catch the Biden goof. Does the fact that he didnt; give thought to the medium used to Deliver FDR's message comparable to Pahlin believing the fact that Alaska is the closest state to Russia provides her Foreign Policy expertise? Does that error by Biden make Pahlin any more qualified? Regardless, Obama IS the next president and Biden IS the next VP because the people of the United States elected them.
Posted 12:27 PM, 11/26/2008
CD75
Gibba: Polman works for a "major" newspaper. He does not work for a partisan blog like Townhall.com or Kos. BIG DIFFERENCE. Also, nice blasphemy. You should be flagged off this blog for your irrevrence and disrespect.
Posted 12:28 PM, 11/26/2008
jmc
I'm thankful for Victory in Iraq, the dramatic drop in gas prices, and what's now 7 years since the last Islamic terrorist attack on American soil. I give thanks that the New York Times stock is in the toilet. I'm also thankful that Obama is considering suspending tax increases on "the rich", because it's an admission that raising taxes on top earners actually does hurt the economy. Happy Thanksgiving.
Posted 01:03 PM, 11/26/2008
pagoda
cd75- you just don't go away. Fox news is #1, Rush Limbaugh gets paid 100 million dollars, and yet you clowns lost Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Florida. Keep up the good work. And thanks again.
Posted 01:05 PM, 11/26/2008
JimR
I'm thankful for CD75. I've been a regular visitor for a few years and an observer of the apparent inability of folks here to even agree on what day it is. But, CD has been the great unifier on this blog. Most people are in agreement on CD's value as a great thinker.
Posted 01:08 PM, 11/26/2008
James TL
Fox news is fair and balanced????? HAHA HAHAAAA!! Whata turkey you are CD! Get stuffed you fool! Have fun stewing in your own juice for the next 8 years or so.
Posted 01:10 PM, 11/26/2008
NEPhilly
gee, i like to argue the points everyday and this is the best place to find a lively debate! You would have to admit Mr. Polman is a bit over the top. I think he does it on purpose to get a lively debate going, ironically:) In any case, Alaska is the closest state to Russia, isn't it? Katie Couric shouldn't be so proud of herself when she treats one candidate so much better than the other candidate in interviews, that was my point! Mr. Polman writing it here is one thing as it is an opinion page, but Katie doing it on national TV posing as an objective interviewer is quite another. On Biden, where has he been? I think Obama has him locked in the basement somewhere:) Palin was put in a tough spot in the national spotlight, but seemed as smart as the above average citizen like you or me posting here! She did pretty good in the debate against Mr. Biden and his experience and one last thing he was wrong about the vice presidents duties, too! Good luck to Pres.elect Obama and VP Biden, wherever he is. I will be here as the loyal opposition and promise to treat him better than W was treated:)
Posted 01:19 PM, 11/26/2008
James TL
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Thanks especially to the Phillies that made this a great year despite the economy. I'm thankful for Barack Obama and hope he leads us out of the mess that George Bush (not totally his fault but he IS the President)>
About Dick Polman

Cited by the Columbia Journalism Review as one of the nation's top political reporters, and lauded by the ABC News political website as "one of the finest political journalists of his generation," Dick Polman is a national political columnist at the Philadelphia Inquirer. He is on the full-time faculty at the University of Pennsylvania, as "writer in residence." Dick has been a frequent guest on C-Span, MSNBC, CNN, NPR and the BBC. He covered the 1992, 1996, 2000, and 2004 presidential campaigns.

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All commentaries posted before April 18, 2008, can be accessed at www.dickpolman.blogspot.com.