Bethenny Frankel: America's new lifestyle guru

Bethenny Frankel says her Skinnygirl Night Out at the Merriam will be "just me." Maybe so. But where Frankel goes, much else follows.

"For an hour and a half, it'll be me up there, alone, talking," Frankel says with a chuckle. "That's what I do best."

Frankel, 40, will bring plenty of drama and humor to the Merriam. In the world of reality television - an often sad and silly environment - she has parlayed her chatty, catty time on Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City and Bethenny Getting Married? and the coming Bethenny Ever After into something intelligent - and even useful.

She left the Housewives franchise after three seasons, and it's good to reflect on how she prospered and surpassed it. Unlike most Housewives alumnae, Frankel has worked for what she has become. As a natural-foods chef with the gift of gab, and an engaging author, she has something worthwhile to sell - not just herself. Beyond the screen, her smart series of Skinnygirl recipe books "for a Naturally Thin Life!" (to say nothing of that brand's low-cal margarita mix) and her coming A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life position her as America's new lifestyle guru.

"Paying attention during English classes paid off," jokes Frankel, while tending to Bryn, her 7-month-old "pterodactyl" with husband Jason Hoppy, whom she met during her Housewives run.

Although she spent time as an actress (film credits include 1995's Wish Me Luck), Frankel quickly realized she could train the limelight on her natural foods empire. She even made first runner-up on NBC's The Apprentice: Martha Stewart (2005), in which her matter-of-fact demeanor and frank humor proved a worthy hit. She was so compelling that when The Real Housewives of New York City (known first as Manhattan Moms) came to fruition in 2008, she seemed a natural, even though she was single and without children.

"She represented a different voice from the other women," says Andy Cohen, Bravo's senior vice president of production and programing, as well as the on-air host of the cabler's Watch What Happens: Live.

"Bethenny wanted to be a housewife and seemed close to getting her dream," Cohen says. "I was apprehensive about casting someone who'd been on The Apprentice, because it just seemed bogus, but her personality and personal story won us over."

That story starts with the daughter of a thoroughbred trainer moving from city to city, always the awkward new kid. "I went to, like, 13 different schools, so I always had to fit in," says Frankel. As she grew older, her knack for humor and for improvising in the midst of challenging situations put her in good stead during auditions. She started a business as a private chef with a custom-meal delivery service for the nouveau riche.

She says the key to her boils down to this: "I have the ability to articulate exactly what I'm feeling, in writing or just talking." English class again!

Those skills, however, couldn't pay Manhattan's sky-high rents. In her late 30s, she felt uncertain of her future. Then came 2008 and The Housewives of New York, whose preening and kvetching made her and her lady friends overnight sensations.

"When I was younger, I probably wanted the attention and love that I never got as a child," Frankel says. "But with Housewives, I was terrified because it was a bit much. I mean, I was on the Today show and Health magazine, a very credible, manageable fame. Then the Housewives hit, and suddenly I couldn't go to the deli in my pajamas. You want fame so bad, then you just want less of it."

What she wanted more than anything was a platform for her natural health, food, and fitness business, with its message that being thin need not involve pressure or harm for women. The Skinnygirl brand was born and thrived.

Frankel feared that the outrageousness of the constantly yelling and conniving Housewives - the very thing that brought Frankel acclaim - would endanger the seriousness of her work. "I thought it could've been a train wreck," she says, "or my one-hit wonder that destroyed everything for me."

It didn't. But Frankel - calculating enough to get on the show knowing she'd be its breakout star - began to tire of the bickering and the pains her costars and other Housewives alums went through to gain fame. Most notorious, there's table-flipping Teresa Giudice of New Jersey, hard-partying Kim Zolciak of Atlanta, newly divorcing Camille Grammer of Beverly Hills, and New York's Jill Zarin, a close friend with whom Frankel had a bitter falling out on national television.

"I don't know how or why women continue to get rewarded for bad behavior," says Frankel . "It frustrates me. I try to separate a little."

So she left Housewives and positioned her show Bethenny Getting Married? as the top-rated series debut in Bravo history, with more than two million viewers, while making herself into an icon of positive affirmation and individuality.

"She's funny, driven, smart, and vulnerable, someone who I think women can either relate to or want to at least join on her journey through life in Manhattan," says Cohen in regard to Bethenny Getting Married? "The struggle to have it all is relatable. Seen through Bethenny's eyes, an engaging portrait emerges." He says those same elements are true of Bethenny Ever After, which will probe whether she, or anyone, really can have it all - "plus take on brand-new challenges like schlepping back and forth across the country competing on Skating With the Stars," Cohen adds. (Frankel, with pro partner Ethan Burgess, was runner-up in December.)

During Bethenny Getting Married? she showed how the lonely woman could find love, how the broke woman with an idea could find success, and how a pregnant woman could have her water break on national television.

What is her message these days? In A Place of Yes, she writes that it's about "separating from the pack, not doing things for the sake of being nonconformist, but just playing your own game and being fearless." And knowing the temperature of the room is important: "I've always known that about myself."

And reality TV? It's "a lot of people trying to create what they want other people to think they are, or they are so disconnected, they have no idea how they truly appear. I'm neither of those things."

So, for 90 minutes on stage at the Merriam, it will be just Frankel gossiping and talking about weight loss, women, and their relationships with food, men, and self-esteem.

"It'll be about not beating yourself up and how to be naturally thin without ever having to diet again," says Frankel. "There'll be Skinnygirl dish about how not to obsess over long lists of ingredients. And there's a lot about how I got here, especially in the 45-minute Q&A, which is the real show, where women just ask me questions.

"I don't even prep," she says. "It's just me talking."

That's a reality you could learn to love.

Skinnygirl Night Out

A Conversation

With Bethenny Frankel

The show will be performed at 8 p.m. Friday at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St. Tickets: $25-$35. Information: 215-893-1999, www.kimmelcenter.org.