You knew it was coming. When the Yankees won the World Series, every sports fan with half a functioning brain cell braced for the inevitable, saccharine SportsCenter packages.

If you missed them, here's the general gist: Alex Rodriguez is a winner now. Hooray. Let's forget how shady he's always been and celebrate his championship awesomeness.

It's amazing how one title can erase so many mistakes - with steroids and centaurs and especially Madonna. Somewhere, Dan Marino, John Stockton, Patrick Ewing, and other great players who never won championships in their sports weep quietly into their beers - or, in Marino's case, something carb-friendly from NutriSystem. They're all members of the Charles Barkley Close But Not Close Enough Club. Call it the CBCBNCEC for short(er). (I really have to work on my unwieldy acronyms - among other things.)

While I was watching Donovan McNabb and the Birds last night, it occurred to me - not for the first time - that regular-season losses to Dallas always sting, but they don't mean much when evaluating a player's career. Championships trump everything, even falling to the 'Boys. If McNabb finally delivers a parade to Philly, that's what people will remember - just as no one will ever forget it if he ultimately fails in that quest.

Nobody wants to end up as just another guy with gaudy individual numbers but no flashy jewelry on his finger(s). There's a group of talented but titleless players out there who are currently on the CBCBNCEC watch list. To be considered, they have to have serious stats and stature and be older than 30 (which is why you won't find LeBron James below; too soon).

Here, then, are the top five candidates to be inducted into the CBCBNCEC if things don't change:

1. Donovan McNabb: He holds franchise records for attempts, completions, completion percentage, yards, quarterback rating, TDs, and media scrutiny. Among active signal-callers, only Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady have thrown more touchdown passes. And yet Five is rarely mentioned with those three. (You get one guess why.) If he wins a Super Bowl, though, get ready for teary, A-Rodesque tributes.

2. Allen Iverson: He's one of the best players of his era, not to mention one of the greatest small men to ever dribble a ball. Something tells me he's not winning a championship while "playing" (defined here as sulking in his off-season home in Atlanta) for the Grizzlies. Just a hunch.

3. Ken Griffey Jr.: Despite being fifth on the all-time home run list and inspiring a generation of kids to wear their hats backward, Junior has never played in a World Series. A guy who performed so well during his guest turn on The Simpsons deserves better.

4. Terrell Owens: Among active receivers, he's tied for first in career touchdowns and second in receptions and yards. That's nice, but can we make a sports rule, please? From now on, you have to win something significant before you get a reality show. I feel like that would solve a lot of society's problems. At this point, Owens has a better shot of winning an Emmy than a Super Bowl. That's terribly twisted.

5. Randy Moss: He's tied for first among active receivers in touchdowns, and he's third in yards and fifth in receptions. He also has arguably the best shot to get off this list. If David Tyree hadn't caught that crazy pass off his noggin in Super Bowl XLII, someone else would almost certainly be in this spot. But then they don't call it the CBCBNCEC for nothing.

Bigger plastic surgery mistake: Sammy Sosa or Jerry Jones? (Forget Michael Jackson. Too easy.) . . . All three members of Team Talkin' picked the Birds to win, as did all seven prognosticators from our sister paper. You can't get 10 Philly sportswriters to agree on which bar to visit. No wonder the 'Boys won - bad juju. . . . The Fox pregame show panelists were asked yesterday to predict the Super Bowl winner. Jimmy Johnson didn't hesitate, howling into the camera, "How 'bout them Cowboys!" Remember the old educational, wheel-shaped children's toy with all the barnyard animals on it? You'd pull the string and the arrow would spin and stop on an animal, which would then make a noise. The cow says moooo. And so on. The cow always said moooo. Jimmy Johnson is a lot like the cow, only with better hair.

Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813 or gonzalez@phillynews.com.