White was shocked. She asked a DHS caseworker what had prompted the decision. "She just threw up her hands," White said.

Given the complexity of the case, the gesture of futility is, in a way, appropriate.

Which family will give Ronnie a better future? The answer is as pressing as it is unknowable.

Attention and progress

Rarely do children with severe disabilities end up with just one foster family, said Sheryl Dicker, a lawyer who recently retired as director of the New York State Permanent Judicial Commission on Justice for Children.

"Usually they go from home to home to home, and before you know it the kid has been rejected by more people than you can count."

When the Whites took Ronnie in, they thought it would only be temporary.

Pat, 43, has a master's degree in education and is certified in special education. She and her husband, Gary, a railroad instructor for SEPTA, met 12 years ago in the Marine Corps Reserve. He has a teenage daughter from a previous marriage.

The school where Pat works is in a poor neighborhood, and her students are vulnerable, sometimes frightened, and often in need of basic necessities.

In the fall of 2003, she bought Ronnie a gray hooded sweatshirt. "It was getting cold, and he didn't have anything." His rapture over such a simple thing was heartbreaking. And it pained her to watch, she said, when his teeth hurt so badly he had to drink through a straw.

"He often came to school dirty, hungry and smelling of cat urine," one of his teachers, Anita Crouthamel, wrote in a letter. "My staff and I had to wash his clothes and book bag at least twice a week. He often came in to school withdrawn and sad and would join in activities only after we took the time to wash his face, comb his hair and brush his teeth. ... We referred him to the school nurse several times due to our ongoing concern for his health and nutrition."

That winter, White said, Ronnie's caseworker told her that his parents were having trouble coping.

Ronnie's siblings had been placed with relatives, but he was in some kind of group home. The Whites visited him and applied to become his foster parents.

On March 12, 2004, he moved in.

Since then, he has made dramatic progress, White said.

He has had several teeth removed and more than 10 filled. He gained 20 pounds, although he is still rail thin. He can make his bed, count to 100, write the alphabet, read about 200 words, and sing karaoke at least as well as some of the contestants on American Idol.

In a letter to Family Court Judge Charles Cunningham, who is presiding over the custody case, Crouthamel reported, "He appears more alert, eager to learn and aware of his environment."

The school librarian wrote, "He no longer looks unhealthy. . . . His dark under-eye circles are gone. . . . He can now speak and focus on a conversation."

The Whites said they had enrolled Ronnie in soccer and basketball teams for autistic children and a Boy Scout troop. He received regular speech and occupational therapy and went on family vacations to Florida and North Carolina.