and Lynn Panepinto

A few weeks ago at a contentious hockey game between rival schools, there was a fierce battle and a tough loss for one team. After the game, the losing team's disgruntled players spilled out of the locker room. One was heard saying: "Man, that team raped us."

Such sentiments and language are common, but dangerous. These seemingly innocuous remarks contribute to a pervasive culture on campuses that makes light of sexual assault and violence. College men need to understand this culture and their role in perpetuating it, and the group One in Four is helping them to do that.

At many college and universities, One in Four, which works primarily with male students, has teamed with the Rape Education Prevention Program (REPP), which provides prevention and coping strategies for female students.

At St. Joseph's University, One in Four and REPP offer programs for students during orientation and in the residence halls. They also work with the athletic teams and Greek organizations. This partnership is new. Though REPP has an established presence nationwide, One in Four made its Philadelphia debut at St. Joseph's only two years ago.

During our presentations, we often notice expressions of surprise, doubt or discomfort on students' faces. Movies and popular culture have depicted college as a carefree environment with endless supplies of alcohol and chicks, and many students we speak with subscribe to this thinking.

College guys typically strive for "beer muscles" and lots of girls; college women often believe it's acceptable and even complimentary for men to be sexually aggressive. Their cultural ideals of masculinity and femininity are skewed, and our presentations are often the first time their perceptions have been challenged.

Sadly, in almost every program we have conducted, there has been someone with a personal experience involving sexual violence. Fortunately, many of our organization's members are sexual-assault counselors certified to offer coping strategies for victims and their loved ones.

Recently, a woman called our hotline requesting a hospital accompaniment. While walking down the street, she had been attacked and sexually assaulted by her ex-boyfriend. She contacted the hotline because she needed help but didn't want her friends and family to know what had happened. She didn't even want to return to the home she shared with her current boyfriend because she was terrified of his reaction. Had counseling not been available, she would have told no one about the attack. (Forty-two percent of assault victims say the same thing.)

Two things stand out about this woman's situation.

First, like many assault victims, this caller knew her attacker. According to studies, as many as 90 percent of attackers are not the stranger hiding in the shadows but someone the victim knows.

The second thing is how important it is for men to be educated about sexual assault. Women are often afraid of how their boyfriends, brothers and male friends will respond when told of a sexual assault on a loved one. Men tend to react with anger and aggression to this news. We tell male students that responding with anger is one of the worst things they can do. The woman has just been stripped of all her power; the last thing she wants is to have him be out of control.

Instead, men should stop, listen and believe. Let her tell her story.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and St. Joseph's is preparing to participate in our Take Back the Night Vigil on Wednesday to bring attention to the issue and how it affects men and women, regardless of the status of their relationships. As One in Four expands to other campuses, we hope other schools will consider a similar partnership with REPP to address and help prevent sexual assault.