Dave Boyer: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em - then beat 'em

By Dave Boyer

The conservatives' diabolical plot to eradicate the Democratic Party is right on schedule.

Sen. Arlen Specter is the latest example of an estranged Republican running into the arms of Democrats, but there have been others. Last year alone, about 200,000 Pennsylvania Republicans switched parties.

And the Democratic Party is about as discerning as a golden retriever when somebody wants to join its club. It is happy to see anyone and everyone.

It's obvious what conservatives are doing. They're taking a hard line on issues such as abortion and immigration so that millions of moderate Republicans will flee in horror to the Democrats. Conservatives aren't serious about building a wall along the entire border with Mexico. Who would prune their Dick Cheney topiaries?

But when enough outcast Republicans have joined the Democratic ranks, it will seem like the time your second cousin unexpectedly invited her biker friends to the family picnic. Nothing against bikers - it's just that you didn't make enough deviled eggs for all of them. And then they laughed at the way you play badminton.

The point is, it will no longer be the party Democrats carefully cultivated through years of minimum-wage increases and spotted-owl protests. The new party will include lots of people who once professed admiration for Chief Justice John Roberts and strip mining. The influx of Republicans will necessarily result in the Democratic Party becoming more conservative, or at least less liberal.

It's a win-win for conservatives. They get rid of the Republicans they consider weak-kneed, and the Democrats are infiltrated by people who can say "tax shelter" without sneering.

Sure, conservatives will be out of power for a while. But they are a patient people. Anyone with the patience to read Ann Coulter can certainly wait a few years for the Democrats to self-destruct.

The conservatives' plot is working so perfectly that Democrats think they're the winners: The GOP is disappearing! Woo-hoo! Proceed with the secret plans for a biodome in every garage!

Meanwhile, the Republican purge continues unabated. Just the other day, conservatives tried to give the boot to Colin Powell.

Powell is a war hero who could have won the GOP presidential nomination in years past. But he has committed several major transgressions lately. For example, he endorsed Barack Obama. Then, last week, he had the audacity to say: "Americans do want to pay taxes for services. Americans are looking for more government in their life, not less."

Cue the crickets at Camp Conservative.

When conservatives recovered their ability to speak, their poster boy for eating well, Rush Limbaugh, had a revealing comeback. Limbaugh said of Powell: Why don't you join the Democrats?

And the Democrats would be thrilled to have him: Colin Powell is awesome! Well, he did persuade the entire world to invade Iraq on behalf of President Bush, but now he's sorry. And he's so cool! Sign him up!

At this rate, I give it about six months before Democrats start talking about the merits of a flat tax.