Sunday, August 30, 2015

Cheeseburger, I Hold

Restaurant Critic Craig LaBan sings the praises of the region's best burgers


While researching the best burgers in the region, restaurant critic Craig LaBan was moved to song. Here are the lyrics. Band and production credits are at the bottom of the page..

Cheeseburger, I Hold

Copyright © 2007 by Craig LaBan


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    Truffles fall like snowflakes, on my plate

    Sparkling crystal goblets always brim with wine

    I can eat anything that I want, ’cause it’s my job

    I’m a hungry man for hire.

    And still, nothing sets my soul to sizzle

    Like a fresh-ground patty on the grill…




    Cheeseburger, I hold

    Mischief heart of liquid bleu

    Cheeseburger, I hold

    You melt into mine


    All my life, I’ve been a burger chaser

    That perfect simple sandwich shouldn’t be so hard to find

    But how many times have I been sorry, after just one bite

    To find a fraud between the buns

    The patty smashers! (No juice! No juice!)

    The topping fools! (Pile the pink tomatoes on!)

    The fast food stand-ins for good old school

    So when the grinder’s gift hears that charcoal song

    Lay your best Roquefort and crisp bacon on!




    I remember: Krazy Jim’s Blimpy Burgers, Mo’s in Frisco, In-N-Out

    Barclay’s sliders, Rouge’s biggies, on the Boardwalk I love Brown’s

    Burger Heaven in Manhattan , Tommy’s Westwood chile bombs

    Midnight snacks at the Camellia, in the Quarter Port of Call

    But then the Good Dog Bar turned my patties inside out

    So when I took a bite, love came rushing out.



    - Craig LaBan


    Copyright© 2007




    The Band

    Craig LaBan - vocals and acoustic guitar

    Charlie Patierno - percussion (a.k.a. The Tupperware) (

    Ken Pendergast - upright bass (

    Ross Bellenoit - electric guitar (



    Music produced at O(h)M studio in Conshohocken by Phil Roy ( and Aaron Levinson (

    Additional recording and mixing at Sine Studios in Philadelphia by Matt Teacher and Mike Lawson (

    Video directed and produced by Chris Jolissaint at ShiftVideo (

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