If you were married to Fergie, gorgeousitudinous lead warbler of The Black Eyed Peas, would you cheat? Well, her spouse of 10 whole months, Josh Duhamel, would - according to the lawyer of a stripper who tells the heavily panting National Enquirer that our Josh had sexy, sexuality-driven, one-night sex with her. Nicole Forester, 34, All-American mother of two, says she has text messages from Josh. She has even taken a lie-detector test - proof positive, right? Why a lawyer? Think she's lookin' to get paid? Of course not! Why would you say that? Her lawyer says Josh was bragging on his side-jig while filming Transformers, and someone on the set told the Enqy, so it's time to get her lawsuit on! Josh denies it, and Fergie says marriage is great. Taboo, her bandmate, says, "When you're as famous as Fergie and Josh, people are going to say stuff." They sure are.

Top of the Charts

Michael Jackson's CD This Is It debuted this week at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 200, according to Nielsen. It's El Rey de Pop's sixth chart-topper, the fifth-biggest week for an album this year, and MJ's best week for an album since 1995's HIStory. Four other debuts in the top 10: new ones from Creed, Rod Stewart, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and Sting.

It's good when you like the same things

Stop the presses! Arrest the computers! This just in, from US mag, so it must be true. Initial reports say Kate Hudson and New York Yankee beefhead Alex Rodriguez enjoy having carnally oriented carnality together. Unnamed Source (thus the name of the mag?) says so. If you, like, call Kate on the phone? And she, says, like, "It's nap time"? Well, this source says it's cute, cuddly code for, um, what it's code for. SideShow's reporters are scouring the globe to verify these claims. Or not.

Not the guy the jeans are named for

Speaking of research, one guy who did it and changed the world was Claude Lévi-Strauss, who ended his run last weekend at age 100 in Paris. His anthropological research, done largely among tribes in Brazil, changed the way people think about people. So, who was smartest? Claude? Jacques Derrida? Roland Barthes? Jacques Lacan? Mikhail Bakhtin? Julia Kristeva? Charlie Manuel? Are we not class-ayyy, name-dropping all these brainiac celebs? Au revoir, Claude! à bientôt!

Sometimes a Sarah is just a Sarah

Speaking of Carl Jung, psychoanalysis pioneer, and we weren't, you may have heard that his mysterious, secret Red Book, which he compiled, wrote, and drew for 16 years, was just published for the first time. Looks pretty insanely and crazily nuts to us, but who's asking? Anyway, NYC's Rubin Museum, home of the manuscript, is holding a series of public panels on it. Guess whom they invited! Right: Sarah Silverman, and she rocked the house! Told everybody her personal pickup line: "We're all molecules." (So why don't we bond?!?!) And when Jungian celeb Michael Vannoy Adams asked Dr. Silverman to analyze one of Jung's mad illustrations, she started hesitantly: "Snakes. Turtles. Really nice tiles. [SideShow loves this comment!] Um, fire and water. Am I doing this right? There's no wrong, right?" Adams said no. Sarah then said another thing, which delighted the crowd but wasn't exactly family-friendly. Or was too much so. (Google Silverman and Jung and you'll find it.)

Get thee to a nunnery, Sienna

The on-again-off-agains may be on agains between Jude Law, 36, now playing Hamlet on Broadway, and the unsuspecting Sienna Miller, 27, now treading B-way boards in After Miss Julie. Ah, young love. The two got engaged in 2004, but, oops!, suddenly Jude slept with Daisy Wright, nanny of his kids by former wife Sadie Frost. He and Sienna split, got back jiggy, re-split, but now, maybe they'll rejiggify.

Jennifer shows world how to party

We are pleased to report that Jennifer Aniston was seen drinkin', dancin', and enjoyin' her own bad self at a Nov. 1 wedding bash for Kelsie Gigandet, hairstylist to Aniston pal Chris McMillan, and also sis of film star Cam Gigandet. Nice: Jus' Jen being the life of the party, not being reported only in terms of the men around or not around her. Party on, JA!

The Awful Truth about Vince Vaughn

Dateline: Pan Pacific Park, Los Angeles. Scene: A kids' soccer game. Enter: Vince Vaughn with fiancée Kyla Weber, rooting for Dubble V's niece. We see Vince in Soccer Uncle Uniform: tennies, track pants, T-shirt. One of the soccer moms there spilled to Ted Casablanca of The Awful Truth blog that - we blush - Vince has very tiny feet.

Pole-dancing, swaying to the mu-sic . . .

Back to the subject of sleeping with strippers! Us mag runs a nostalgic look-back on all the Hollyhunks connected with taker-offers through the years. Who can forget Ben Affleck, falsely reputed in 2003 to have dissed Jennifer Lopez with a foursome? (Even he wasn't that nuts!) Or A-Rod, him again, pride of the Yanks, who in 2007 hastened his end-of-marriage crisis by tripping the like fantastic with merely a single strippy in Toronto? And swimmer Michael Phelps, who, said a G-string diva in 2008, freestyled with her in a threesies?

Dots, dashes, dudes and dishes

Jamie Ayers, described as a "lifetime friend," yeah, right, of Kate Gosselin, blabs majorly to Life & Style Weekly. Ayers says Kate tearfully told her in strictest confidence that " 'I don't think I'll ever find someone who can put up with me and my eight kids.' " We smell a new reality show! . . . David Tennant, soon to retire after five intergalactic years as Brit TV's Dr. Who, will make his U.S. TV bow in an hourlong NBC joint titled Rex Is Not Your Lawyer. . . . We may have seen the end of boxing. Where can it go from here? Kim Kardashian's Charity Knockout occurred Tuesday night in Commerce, Calif. Her bro Rob, 22, was first in the ring, and his walk-on opponent tried to knock his face off! Why does everyone hate this family? The K-klan was so upset, they stopped the whole thing for an hour. Then Kim came out, and some chick beat on her pretty good. KK's pa-in-law, former Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner, won his match. Sister Khloé Kardashian wasn't worth the accent mark on her e: She backed out along with baby daddy Scott Disick. Tweeted Kim next morn: "I have a black eye!!!!" . . . On the cover of British GQ: More of Nicole Kidman than anyone could possibly handle, wearing one long-sleeved black glove only, strewing a few choice morsels on the forest floors of our consciousness, including her admission that "I've explored strange sexual-fetish stuff" and that her marriage with Keith Urban is "incredibly raw" and "incredibly dangerous."

Contact "Sideshow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.