Return of 'Jon & Kate' full of bland moments

What a rook!

Instead of fireworks last night on Jon & Kate Plus 8, you got all the excitement of a spelling bee.

The show was returning after a long hiatus that was engendered by the couple's breathlessly reported decision to separate. The expectation was that the new episodes would delve into the bitter unraveling of the Gosselins' marriage, the fairy-tale-gone-sour scenario that has made them tabloid staples.

But in back-to-back episodes, we hardly saw Jon and Kate together. They rarely addressed their marital situation or even mentioned one another.

What we got was a solid hour of banal domestic activities. See the kids frolic in the surf. See them camp out in tents in the backyard. Boring!

It was something of a bait and switch by TLC. Knowing that it had a firm grip on viewers' attention thanks to the rabid tabloid coverage of the couple, it used the highly anticipated return to do some shelf-cleaning (and building).

The episode bundled up eight-month-old footage of the couple remodeling their kitchen.

Last night even included some beyond-blatant product placements for Coleman camping supplies.

Jon was an absentee dad for the entire hour. You didn't get to see him partying in the Hamptons with Lindsay Lohan's creepy dad. You didn't get to see him at all, except when he was "supervising" the kitchen construction while Kate and kids were at the beach.

That left Kate in the spotlight. (Just the way she likes it. This divorce thing may not be so bad after all.) It would make sense for the show to focus on her in the coming month.

She has always been far smarter and more adept at playing to the camera than her spouse. It's what makes her one of reality TV's canniest stars.

Last night she cast herself as the breezy and happily self-reliant single mom. But her inherent hostility slipped out at times.

She was not, for instance, above using sarcasm on her 5-year-olds.

As she struggled to build a backyard fire, one of the brood chirped, "Mommy, you can't do it." She responded, "How nice of you to encourage me."

Hopefully the show will be a little more revealing and personal in the coming weeks. You hate to root for discord and acrimony, but it's got to be better than last night's disappointingly sleepy play date.