Trio to tread the boards

In an extraordinary boon to Drama, three film and TV actors have answered the call of The Stage.

Jude Law, 36, is adding to his impressive film resume, which includes The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Sleuth, and All the King's Men, with a turn as the Melancholy Dane in a Broadway production of that frothy little English play, Hamlet, at the Broadhurst Theatre in New York. Previews begin Sept. 12 and the play will open Oct. 6.

Bourne trilogy actress Julia Stiles, 28, will make her Broadway debut in David Mamet's controversial take on sexual harassment, Oleanna, opposite Bill Pullman. The play is currently on view in Lalaland and will open in New York Oct. 11 at the Golden Theater.

Last, but not least, T.R. Knight, who really did leave Grey's Anatomy, will star in a Broadway revival of the Tony Award-winning farce, Lend Me a Tenor . . . to be directed by Stanley Tucci. No word on an opening date.

Vibe to join the ether

Vibe, the urban music magazine founded in '93 by Quincy Jones, has gone out of business.

"On behalf [of] the . . . staff (the best in this business), it is with great sadness, and with heads held high, that we leave the building today," editor-in-chief Danyel Smith said in a statement released to AllHipHop.com.

"We were assigning and editing a Michael Jackson tribute issue when we got the news. . . . It's a sad day for music, for hip-hop in particular, and for . . . millions of readers."

A $108 million raise for Cowell?

Simon "Darth Vader" Cowell finally may be able to afford his very own Death Star.

Brit paper The Guardian reports that American Idol is so desperate to keep Simon on the show that Fox has offered to pay him "three or four" times his current salary. Simon, who last year reportedly earned $36 mil, is up for a new contract in May.

Is that raise even possible? Newsday says there's no way Fox could afford that much cash (especially for someone who serves the Dark Side).

No comment from Fox.

Anna's Vegas smackdown

Anna Kournikova, 28, whose World Team Tennis troupe, the St. Louis Aces, will face off against the Philadelphia Freedoms on Monday in King of Prussia, suffered cuts and bruises to her neck after being embroiled in an apparent smackdown at Lavo Nightclub in Vegas on Saturday.

The New York Post says Anna took exception with some random, unidentified woman who threw a drink on her. A shoving match ensued.

An anon source tells People mag that the combatants had to be separated by security guards. "Anna looked really shaken up," the source said.

Zsa Zsa Gabor back home

Zsa Zsa Gabor's hubby, Prince Frederick von Anhalt, has announced that the 92-year-old former Miss Hungary has returned to her Beverly Hills home after being hospitalized for six days after complaining of flulike symptoms. No other details available.

From gangster moll to hausfrau

Drea de Matteo, who played a gf-turned-FBI informant opposite Michael Imperioli in The Sopranos, has a new address on Desperate Housewives' Wisteria Lane. Entertainment Weekly says she'll play an Italian woman whose hubby is a landscape designer. Drea recently became engaged to country singer Shooter Jennings, with whom she has an 18-month-old daughter, Alabama.

Madonna, advertising prop

Pop icon Madonna, 50, stars in an exciting series of images taken by Steven Meisel for overpriced luxury consumer-goods purveyor Louis Vuitton's fall campaign. One pic features Madge in the silly "bunny ears" she wore to the Met's Costume Institute Gala in May in New York. Other objects arrayed on and around the consumerist goddess include sumptuous sequined monogram bags and lacy fingerless gloves. It's all too marvelous.

Meanwhile, USAToday.com says Martin H.M. Schreiber's infamous 1979 nudes of the warbler will be part of a London exhibit opening tomorrow called "The Madonna Nudes - 30th Anniversary Exhibition." The London Telegraph notes that the then-struggling dancer agreed to pose for the pics for $30.

Mariah vs. Eminem: Round 2

Looks as if Mariah Carey is about to take her feud with Detroit rap god Eminem to a whole new level. People.com says Mariah was spotted Monday on the set of her music vid for "Obsessed" made up to look like a caricature of Slim Shady - soul patch and all.

The vid is a response to Em's tune "Bagpipes From Baghdad" in which he bewails their breakup: "Mariah whatever happened to us / Why did we ever have to break up?" Em goes on to insult Mariah's hubby, Nick Cannon.

In May, Cannon wrote on his blog that he finds it pathetic that Slim Lamey (nice one) is still obsessed with his wife. For her part, Mariah has denied she ever dated the rapper.

Brown dumped from BET Awards?

Former lovers Chris Brown and Rihanna were conspicuously absent from Sunday's BET Awards, which featured a tribute to Michael Jackson. The New York Daily News says the Bahamian beauty was too busy hanging out with sexy Orlando Magic forward Rashard Lewis. As for Brown, who has pleaded guilty to assaulting R. in February, unnamed souces say he was dumped from the show at the last minute because of pressure from the Rev. Al Sharpton and Jay-Z, who feared he would inspire negative publicity. Brown's rep says he never was confirmed for the show.

'Transformers': For geniuses only

Is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen just a stupid blockbuster, or is it the cinematic equivalent of James Joyce's Finnegans Wake whose complex, esoteric symbolism eludes the world's greatest mind? That's the question that was debated yesterday on CBS's The Early Show. "Are you supposed to literally understand what every scene is or what it means?" cohost Harry Smith asked Megan Fox, who's in the film.

In a powerful endorsement of the film, Fox said that although she's read the script, starred in the film and watched it, she "still didn't know what was happening," adding, "[If] you understand it, you may be a genius."

'Transformers': A real challenge

Megan's costar Josh Duhamel also has high praise for the flick and his part in it.

"In a certain sense, it's not the most difficult role," he tells Men's Health. "But you still want to give it as much depth as you can."

Asked for the millionth time to comment on the widely circulated set of pics from 2000 that depict him in the nude, Josh said, "It's funny at this point. Whatever. It's done."

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.