Daring journalists from the Vanguard group on cable's Current network - the one cofounded by Al Gore, with news aimed at young adults - travel to the scariest corners of the world: the Iran-Iraq border; severely polluted enclaves deep in China; Camden.

Former Navy Seal Kaj Larsen's special "Fully Automatic America," about America's gun culture, leads Vanguard's new season tomorrow at 10 p.m., and Larsen thought he would go to Camden, twice named "America's Most Dangerous City" by a Midwestern research company, for some local color.

"I was shocked," said Larsen, who has visited gun bazaars in Somalia and war zones in Afghanistan and Colombia. "I couldn't believe it."

Larsen spent a routine Thursday morning with federal marshals, going on a dozen raids and traveling through open-air drug markets where commuters get their fix before work.

Then there was the high-speed chase and the store owner chasing a suspected thief with a shotgun. "You can't do that," Larsen said. "The kid probably took a pack of gum."

TLC once stood for The Learning Channel. Now, it's just The Lousy Channel, as the network, desperate for viewers, has turned into a freak show.

President Eileen O'Neill cooed proudly about Jon and Kate Plus 8 (a family with twins and sextuplets); 17 Kids and Counting, in which Mom and Dad keep cranking out the kids (they're up to 18 now), and about dwarf-o-thon Little People, Big World.

Now the network proudly presents NASCAR Wives. "The drama on the track is nothing compared to the lives of these wives," O'Neill crowed, before she introduced three of the ladies.

One of them is Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s sister, Kelley, not his wife, but who's counting? "I've been a wife," she said, but now she's divorced, just like her daddy, who had three different wives.

TLC will probably get a show going on NASCAR divorcees any day now.

The gals spouted a lot of NASCAR propaganda while talking up the excitement of loving (and apparently getting sick of) guys who go round and round real fast.

"NASCAR has made significant strides in their safety initiatives," Kelley Earnhardt proclaimed, even if they did come a little too late for her dad, who was killed in a 2001 crash at Daytona.

"I know that my dad died a happy person because he was doing what he loved to do," she said. "So that makes me feel better."

Former Girl Next Door Bridget Marquardt is branching out. No, not out of her Playboy Playmate costumes - been there, done that. Bridget's going around the whole world in bikinis in the new Travel Channel offering Bridget's Sexiest Beaches, premiering in March.

It's a bit of a waste of time putting any italics around Bridget, since she speaks in a rat-a-tat stream of consciousness that contains only italics and exclamation points.

There's probably a lot more to a lot of those Playmates than meets the eye, even though there's plenty enough of that, too. Speaking to the critics, Bridget came across more vivacious and intelligent than vapid and idiotic. She does have a master's degree in communications, you know. And she communicates just fine.

Every beach that Bridget breaches instantly turns sexy, but, she emphasized to the critics, "I don't just go there to party, and I don't just go there to do adventure, and I don't just go there to show you amazing hotels. I kind of do all of it."

Her favorite beach so far: Dubrovnik, Croatia. "But," she said, "I have a list for, like, 10 seasons, so I'm hoping to make this a career." See? I told you she was smart.

She also liked Mallorca, and don't be surprised if Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett marries his own Girl Next Door, Kendra Wilkinson, there, and not in the Playboy Mansion as previously advertised.

"I called Kendra and was like, 'You have to have your wedding here,' " Bridget said. "I have to come back. This is so amazing and so romantic. It's so gorgeous here. Somebody needs to do something here, so I have to come back.' "