You have to admire the massive brakes of SEPTA union boss Willie Brown. He authorized TWU Local 234's World Series surprise 3 a.m. strike Tuesday, which put the city in one perpetual traffic jam, stranding the very sort of workers (and their children) he represents.

"I understand I'm the most hated man in Philadelphia right now," Brown said. "I have no problem with that."

When the "It's Our Money" blog's Ben Waxman asked Brown how it felt to be as reviled as A-Rod, Brown almost blushed, saying, "I feel kind of honored to be in the same class, the same conversation as Alex Rodriguez. That's pretty OK."

Uh, no, W-Bro, it's not pretty OK. Also, kind of dumb to tell Waxman you drive to work.

Brown refused to negotiate with Michael Nutter - the mayor said they met for the first time last week - dubbing him "Little Caesar."

Little Caesar? The 1931 gangster movie starring Edward G. Robinson? Ancient reference, no? And wouldn't Brown be the one more aptly cast as Little Caesar, the kind of guy who tells authorities, "Listen, you crummy, flat-footed copper, I'll show you whether I've lost my nerve and my brains"?

Or perhaps Brown was just hungry, and by Little Caesar he meant the purveyor of 3 Meat Treat Pizza and Crazy Bread.

As unemployment hit 10.2 percent and the temperature was expected to drop to 32 degrees, SEPTA workers held out for greater contributions to their pension. Look, many laborers have pensions that are stone-cold frozen. They've gone years without mandated raises, and are now facing pay cuts - preferable to the layoffs plaguing many industries. They don't know what a signing bonus looks like. Who gets signing bonuses besides ballplayers? Oh, that's where the A-Rod comparison comes in. Unlike SEPTA employees, many workers contribute to their health-care coverage because that's what living in this economy means.

But, hey, Viva Viagra!

Yes, it appears that labor issues are not the only dysfunction troubling SEPTA workers. The Daily News reported that some are unhappy that their current health-care plans cover - and here it's important to use caps for emphasis - ONLY 10 VIAGRA PILLS A MONTH.

Some union members want the pill - again, excuse the shouting - DAILY, which makes you worry that every bus, trolley, and subway route has the potential to turn into an express, particularly during those problematic four-hour peaks in service.

Look, I don't want to dump solely on the SEPTA workers, who average $52,000 in annual wages.

There's reason to dump on SEPTA bosses as well.

They promised the moon and the stars to workers - and look how well that's turned out.

The subway continues to be one of the city's great embarrassments, with still no fare smart cards, horrible signage, and foul aromas, while providing zero assistance to tourists, let alone residents, from the rudest, least helpful, monosyllabic booth operators. Train them properly, or automate the entire system. At this point, we would be better served by pumpkins.

As for handling massive crowds, on this issue, if none other, the city should be grateful there's no World Series parade this year for SEPTA to bollix.

The strike has cost the Police Department $100,000 in additional costs, including $60,000 in overtime. Meanwhile, the city has yet to negotiate with cops, fire, and nonuniformed employees; all four union contracts expired June 30.

In a horrible economy, during a week that city Budget Director Stephen Agostini asked departments to whack an additional 7.5 percent from the 2011 budget, the mayor wants no raises over four years, plus increased employee contributions to pensions.

Members of those unions are going to take one look at SEPTA and say, hey, I want some of that.

To say nothing of the Viagra clause.

Contact columnist Karen Heller at 215-854-2586 or kheller@phillynews.com.