Editor’s Note: The Ministry of Magic, fearing evil consequences, insists the Daily Prophet give no clear information that might help You Know Who.
Therefore, we present our latest report on Harry Potter as a quiz. (Click on the letter-buttons to check your answers.)
By Peter "Skeeter" Mucha
Special Correspondent
HARRY POTTER, the Boy Who Lived, might not live much longer.
A mysterious prophecy, the Daily Prophet has learned, foretells that Potter’s headed for a showdown with He Who Must Not Be Named, and Potter has to die they cannot both survive.
Such a showdown is likely to happen soon, judging from recent horrifying events at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.
The greatest shock was that headmaster Albus Dumbledore was turned into a dementor by witch Bellatrix LeStrange killed by dark arts teacher Severus Snape.
Don’t be so quick to judge, some observers say, because the former potions professor was compelled by an Imperius Curse had to win the Dark Lord’s confidence in order to betray him.
The professor then escaped with student Draco Malfoy, who is suspected of being one of the Death Eaters who support the Dark Lord Inferati, corpses who leave their graves.
New headmistress Minerva McGonagall says Potter won’t return to Hogwarts for his final year will become the new Dark Arts teacher.
“It’s my opinion Potter belongs here,” the headmistress said. “He needs to perfect his magic. Besides, any day, Dumbledore is likely to talk to us from his portrait in my office the incredible Mirror of Erised.”
Potter is determined, the Prophet has learned, to discover how to defeat HWMNBN. Our source, which must also not be named said, “Quiet Buckbeak. Where was I? Oh, I probably ought not to say this, but Harry hopes to find enchanted objects to grind ’em up with Boggart blood into lucky Felix Felicis potion that contain ‘horcruxes,’ or bits of the Dark Lord’s soul.”
Joining Potter’s quest are likely to be his closest friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. One place Potter has vowed to visit is Godric’s Hollow, where Harry’s parents lived the Room of Requirement, where many secrets are hidden.
It’s also the place where, as a baby, Harry survived a Dementor’s soul-sucking kiss a killing curse that rebounded on Lord Voldemort, reducing him to a shadow of a man.
The only mark left on Harry was the famous lightning scar upon his forehead. Word is Harry gained some mysterious protection when his mother, Lily, lovingly sacrificed her life his father, James, used a Time Turner to change the future before getting killed.
Observers hope Potter also solves a related mystery: Why did he sometimes read the Dark Lord’s thoughts have a protective Patronus that looks like a silver stag?
Potter needs to find four more objects. That’s because two were already taken care of – the Dark Lord’s grandfather’s ring and Mad-Eye Mooney’s magical trunk the diary of Tom Riddle, the young Lord Voldemort.
Dumbedore told Potter he might also need to find several things once owned by founders of Hogwarts houses, such as Slytherin’s locket and Hufflepuff’s cup.
Another top prospect, Dumbledore said, was Voldemort’s snake, Nagini the missing hand of Peter “Wormtail” Pettigrew.
Will such a series of formidable tasks could prove to be Potter’s undoing? Who better to shed some light than the woman who once uttered an awful prophecy about Potter’s fate?
According to divination teacher Sybill Trelawney, the Dark Lord knows only the beginning, which states, “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies.”
Such a description, including the late July birthday, fits only one baby, Harry Potter two babies, Harry and Neville Longbottom.
The next part has a hint about Harry’s scar: “.. and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not.” It continues, however, with this portent of doom: “... the Dark Lord will rise again with his servant's aid, greater and more terrible than he ever was” “.. and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.”
What does it mean? “Even I’m not sure, and apparently I said it,” Trelawney said.
“Please tell the public not to panic!” said Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour. “Prophecies have been wrong before! Besides, even if Potter fails, the ministry will continue doing all we can - like getting a newspaper article turned into a quiz.
“Why if you got more than nine right -- you have been clicking on those letter-buttons, haven't you? -- consider yourself smarter than He Who Must Not Be Named!”
Bellatrix Lestrange is not only reputed to be a follower of He Who And So On but is believed to be responsible for the ending the life of her cousin Sirius Black. Black, who was Harry Potter's godfather, has not been seen since he was knocked by a curse through a veil at the Ministry of Magic.
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