But face it, don't you sometimes feel like spending more on yourself during the holidays than on others?

How can you resist? The clothes. The electronics. The fragrances. The deals. We bet you didn't even know you needed that body scrub that smells just like dark chocolate before it was marked down 20 percent at Sephora.

This year, the National Retail Federation predicts we will spend an average of $190.56 on items for ourselves during the holidays. That's 30 percent more than we did four years ago, when the typical person spent $146.49 on gifts that didn't need wrapping.

"Most retailers stock their stores with the best of the best during the holiday season," said Kathy Grannis, NRF spokeswoman

"It's not uncommon for us to live by the old cliche, 'One for you. One for me. One two for you. One two for me,' because the types of promotions we have seen in recent years really are too good to pass up."

Kita Downing, of southwest Philadelphia, knows the drill.

"When I'm shopping for my sister I always see something for myself," said Downing, 23. "Maybe it's a pair of shoes or a shirt, and then I think, I want to get one for myself, and I do."

Experts say we can't help it.

For one thing, the holiday shopping season is getting longer. Malls this year have been dolled up with garland and twinkling lights since Halloween.

Department stores and discount outlets also organize merchandise so that shoppers must walk past a variety of different items. Basically, it's all a calculated effort to stimulate your Adult Attention Deficit Disorder before you make it to housewares and snatch up mom's coffeemaker, said Stanley A. Kligman, professor of marketing at Drexel University's LeBow College of Business.

Together, the holiday jingles and the too-good-to-pass-up-deals have made it increasingly harder, Kligman said, for us not to pick up one trinket (well, it's just a sweater) or two (how about those UGGS?) or three (heck, I really need a new laptop) for ourselves.

And then there is shopping over the Internet. According to Vikram Sehgal, a director at New York-based Jupiter Research, online shopping helps us give in to our id during the holiday season.

"For every $1 spent online, $6 are spent in stores as a result of online research," Sehgal said. "And during the holiday season, people are researching big-ticket items - a lot of which they are purchasing for themselves."

In other words, is that deal we saw on the high-def TV at Best Buy the best one out there? Or shall I check out Circuit City before buying one for me?

The urge to take care of our own needs during the December shopping season is a modern-day phenomenon.

Before there were malls, people went downtown as a family during the holiday season. They wrote out a list and took their limited funds to smaller stores, where they purchased items for their loved ones, mostly without credit. Once they were done, they were done.

That was in the days before consumers treated shopping as sport, said Pamela N. Danziger, the Pennsylvania-based author of Shopping: Why We Love It and How Retailers Can Create the Ultimate Shopping Experience (Kaplan Publishing, $27).

"They are in the stores far more than they used to be," Danziger said. "And since the message is to do for others, they become really aware when they are shopping for themselves. Sometimes even guilty."

Forget guilt: A lot of people think they deserve to buy themselves special items. After all, it's the end of the year. And what if they get the same lousy socks from Aunt Ruth again this year? Why should they have an unsatisfying holiday season? So for women, that may mean slipping in a pair of shoes, while for men it may be an electronic item.

Al Cox, out shopping at King of Prussia Mall with his wife and son one recent Wednesday afternoon, agreed.

"There are so many things you may want, it's hard to figure out what you may want to buy for yourself and balance it out with what you have to spend on other people," said Cox, of Media.

Same day, same mall - and Elisabeth Gibbings is taking advantage of the one-day kick-off-the-holiday sales at Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom. She has already made one trip back to her car to fill her trunk with holiday goodies.

Some are gifts for her children, but more are "gifts" for herself.

"I have a very hot pair of Paolo pumps with olive, suede and brown patches with slightly pointy toes," gushed Gibbings, a 45-year-old professor of psychology at Widener University.

"They were originally $90, but I bought them for $60. . . . I also bought a velvet blazer for a holiday party and a sweet pink T. There are so many good deals out here, and they are out sooner and sooner."

It's no wonder giving is getting harder and harder.