Follow the instructions above and you and your beloved knife will be as one for a good 20 years.

As she imparts this wisdom, we're working with celery, carrots, garlic, potatoes, onions, parsley, and green chard. We cut with our fingers closed, bunched, and palms-on-top style. We hold our knives perpendicular, parallel, and at an angle.

We learn all the classic French cuts: julienne, batonnet, brunoise and chiffonade. We chop, mince, dice, slice, and shred. We make rings, strips, quarters, and chunks.

We create a French mirepoix of chopped onion, carrot and celery; and a gremolata of garlic, parsley, and lemon zest.

All this and barely a drop of blood spilled, save for the moment Kaplan herself stands too near one of her armed novices.

Frankly, I hesitated to take this class, in part because I feared I'd be talked into buying something.

(Remember my mother's fondness for the Fuller Brush man? I'm a sucker at department-store cosmetics counters. Those "free" makeovers leave a dent in my credit score.)

But Kaplan's approach is honest, her suggestions inexpensive. Along with one good knife and a stable cutting board, Kaplan's list of kitchen cutlery essentials includes three affordable tools for use with citrus fruits: a microplaner to create thin strips of peel leaving the bitter pith behind; a peeler for creating wider strips of zest; and a reamer for juicing. (See sidebar.)

She's not a fan of food processors because they give watery results. "Besides, using a fine tool is infinitely more satisfying than pushing a button."

Kaplan says her mother thought that the smaller the item you were cutting, the smaller the knife you'd need.

Mother was wrong. Instead, heed these Kaplanisms:

A dull blade leads to more accidents than a sharp one.

Like wearing lovely but inappropriate shoes, holding and using even the best knife incorrectly will leave you exhausted and blistered.

She tells us to sprinkle kosher salt on garlic just before chopping because that pulls out the moisture and acts as an abrasive. We nod our heads gravely as if taking solemn vows.

From this day forward, I will not be limited to cutting carrots in coin shapes like the ones I remember from Horn & Hardart.

Now I too can cut oblongs.

Knife Know-How

Honing and sharpening: Think of honing and sharpening as the oil change and tuneup for your knives. Honing perfects the knife blade using a steel, which is a long, grooved rod with a handle. Sharpening further perfects the bevel of a knife blade using a stone. Best done professionally.

Chef’s knife: This is the most basic cutting tool. Look for a forged (not stamped) blade that is 8 or 10 inches long. The forged knife is more expensive, but stronger and made to last. It slices, strips, dices, and minces.

Paring knife: If you want to buy a second knife, make it a paring knife that is 3 to 4 inches long, for use in paring vegetables and fruit.