Fasten your seatbelts; it's going to be a bumpy column. The world moans, "TMI!" but we at SideShow depend on stuff like the new Mackenzie Phillips memoir, High on Arrival. She told her story yesterday to Oprah. A daughter of "Papa" John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas, Mackenzie says she and dad had an affair for 10 years. It began in 1979, when she, then 19, was about to marry Jeff Sessler, a Rolling Stones entourage guy. Papa swooped in to stop it, everybody got upset, got wasted, and . . . well . . . . The next year, Mackenzie was fired from her role as Julie on CBS' One Day at a Time, a casualty of the drug addictions with which she has struggled ever since. Mackenzie's half-sister, singer Chynna Phillips, tells Us mag that when she first learned of the affair, in 1997, "Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head and I probably wouldn't have felt it. But I knew it was true." John Phillips died in 2001.

Normal is easier to keep straight

As for uncapitalized mamas and papas, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed their first child Saturday. Hey there, Charlotte Grace! Buffy the Vampire Slayer alumnae have been fertile this year: Alyson Hannigan had a child with hubmeister Alexis Denisof. Just watch those kids when the full moon's out . . . .

A few miles on the Odom-meter

Now speak, muse, of baby mamas.

If you live on Earth, you know that Khloé Kardashian is marrying Los Angeles Lakers' ball-bouncer Lamar Odom on Sunday.

Two years ago, he split up with one Liza Morales, mother of their three children, one of whom died of SIDS. He and she were together about 10 years and have no formal custody arrangement. Morales, who learned of the fast-track wedding in an e-mail, says, "I thought it was a joke."

Well, that's OK, Liza, you still can. You can also say a few things that might worry Kardashian, such as that Odom was "a commitment-phobe" (Morales accepted a proposal from him eight years ago, but, like, well, see, they never like got around to nothing) and that these days they "really don't hear from him too much." Nice!

Meanwhile, the wedding is slamming ahead. The new Life & Style cover is a visual orgasm about the weird, wild two-week crash-hitching plan. Sisters Kim and Kourtney are keeping the ID of the maids of honor a secret! (What if they are the Laker Girls, the team's cheerleaders?) Odom, romantic guy, slung Khloé K a nine-carat, radiant-cut diamond on a pavé band, forcing millions to Webster's Dictionary, which says: "of jewels: set together as close as possible to conceal a metal base."

Konflikt of the K's, kontinued!

Sister Kourtney Kardashian has a little news of her own, bigger and bigger as nature takes its course. Or toll: She blah-blahs all 'bout it in Us mag. Title: "Why I Took Scott Back." That being the daddy of her news, Scott Disick. Kourtney says that while she didn't use to trust him, now she does. Us asks: "So where's the ring?" Yeah, where? Scott, talk to Lamar Odom, yo. . . . It's refreshing to use lonely k so much in one column, so let's look in on Kendra Baskett, also in Us and also bun-ovened. She married former Philadelphia Eagle wide receiver Hank Baskett last year, and now those stinky Birds have cut him, so when he landed with the Indianapolis Colts, the couple had to pick up stakes and move. From Jersey to Philly to Indy, all in one life!

Two's company, three's a bath

On CBS' Inside Edition yesterday, we heard this deathless exchange:

Jim Moret: How did the three of you end up in a tub - naked?

Kari Anne Peniche: You've never done that? Everyone does that.

Sure! Of course! . . . Why don't we ever get invited to these things?

At issue is this steamy (literally) three-in-the-tub video of Peniche and Eric Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan on ABC's Grey's Anatomy) and Dane's wife, the fetchingly named Rebecca Gayheart. Three clean friends! Peniche, a former Miss Teen USA who was, normal thing, stripped of her crown after stripping period for a Playboy spread, says she's a longtime friend. Not hard to believe. The video went viral on the Net, much to the blushes of Dane and Gayheart, but not, it seems, of Peniche. She says she has no regrets, is a sex addict and has undergone treatment. Also not hard to believe. Speaking of tubs. . . .

Lather it up with Ludacris at Shampoo

Tomorrow, get over to the kewl klub Shampoo (417 North Eighth Street) around 9 p.m. to see/hear/help Ludacris, Melanie Fiona and DJ Jazzy Jeff rock the house. It's free, but you have to win your ticket: Go to the Heineken Red Star Soul site (http://go.philly.com/ludacris1) or station WPHI (FM 100.3) at http://go.philly.com/ludacris2.

Dots and dishes, skirts and flirts

Not a good week for Jessica Simpson. First, her maltipoo Daisy gets dragged off by a famished coyote. Not even a ransom note! Next, more and more sources suggest that Simpson's ex, the supremely lucky and always-surrounded-by-incredible-beauties roué Nick Lachey, is back with Vanessa Minnillo, his ex-squeeze. S/he were seen partying all over Las Vegas a couple of days ago. . . . Moammar Gadhafi, leader of Libya, delivered quite the mind-numbing, jaw-dropping harangue at the United Nations yesterday. We mention this only to share this tweet from Ana Marie Cox, the great blogger of Wonkette fame and frequent commentator on Rachel Maddow's show and elsewhere. Cox tweets: "Qaddafi speech is longer than a Saturday Night Live sketch. Funnier, too. // Less repetitive, more creative - could go on." (You say Qaddafi, we say Gadhafi. It's a style thing.) . . . In further developments regarding the 2007 death of model/actress Anna Nicole Smith, the D.A.'s office in L.A. has filed an amended complaint against Smith's lawyer and sometime manfriend, Howard K. Stern, bringing to 11 the number of felony charges against him. The D.A. says Stern helped Smith's psychiatrist, Khristine Eroshevich, and internist Sandeep Kapoor, already charged with prescribing drugs that killed Smith in 2007. The physicians and Stern pleaded not guilty in May to conspiring to provide her with controlled substances. The new charges say Smith used a false name to help the doctors get prescriptions for opiates.

¡Viva, musica! Satriani, Coldplay cool

Since last year, Brit rockers Coldplay have been tangled in a lawsuit filed by guitarist Joe Satriani. He charged that the band swiped his 2004 instrumental "I Just Wanna Fly" for their Grammy-winning smash "Viva La Vida."

All done! Some sort of settlement has now been reached, according to contactmusic.com. No statement will be required of the band, says Billboard.com. We like both tracks, and we can think of several other tunes containing pretty much the same chord progressions. . . . pues, ¡viva la musica!

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.