Self mag editor-in-chief Lucy Danziger, who admits that this month's Kelly Clarkson cover was altered, not only defends the e-alterations but also says in her Self.com blog that mag covers are not supposed to reproduce reality, but to promote fantasy.

Reality, after all, is a bummer.

That's how LD lives her life: She writes that after she ran the marathon five years ago, she had her snaps altered because her "hips looked big in some of the photos."

It gets worse. Mag pics, LD says, "are not supposed to be . . . true-to-life," but should show celebs at their "best." LD insists that these (faked) pics are "meant to inspire women to want to be their best."

They're also the best way to get women addicted to useless beauty products the mag pushes in its ads.

Consumerism über alles!

It's a boy

Oscar-winning star, Grammy-winning warbler, and American Idol superstar Jennifer Hudson, 27, on Tuesday gave birth to David Otunga Jr., her first baby with fiance David Otunga. Junior weighed in at seven pounds, 14 ounces. "The baby is beautiful and perfect," Hudson's rep says.

Brooks & Dunn round 'em up

Kix Brooks, 54, and Ronnie Dunn, 56, have dissolved their 20-year partnership as Brooks & Dunn, the duo says on www.brooks-dunn.com. "This ride has been everything and more than we could ever have dreamed," they write. The band will release a greatest-hits CD and tour in early 2010 before hanging up their spurs.

It's a vampire Barbie!

People.com reports that a pair of Twilight-inspired Barbie dolls will hit stores Nov. 1. The bloodsucking plastic figurines, which were modeled after Robert Pattinson's Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart's Bella Swan, will cost $25 each. (Watch out, Ken! I hear Cullen is a serious pain in the neck.) Info: www.barbiecollector.com.

Sir Elton in Alice in Chains . . .

Members of Alice in Chains are ecstatic that hard-rocking speed-metal pioneer Sir Elton John agreed to play on their tribute album to their late front man, Layne Staley, who died of a drug OD in '02. "He's a really warm person," Jerry Cantrell said of Elton. "He got up and gave us a couple of hugs." Jerry said Elton, who played piano on the ode "Black Gives Way to Blue," told the band, "I think it's a beautiful song. . . . I really dig the sentiment."

Kim Cattrall's exposed secret

Today on BBC's Who Do You Think You Are?, Kim Cattrall will discuss her shock and awe at discovering that her grandfather, George Baugh, married a second time without divorcing Kim's gran. The Manchester-born actress discovered the secret while preparing for the show. I'm sure we'll soon see Kim repeat the story on American TV.

Roller-skating bash

Matt Senreich and Philly-born Seth Green will lead a free roller-skating party starting at 8 tonight at Jamz Roller Skating Center (7015 Roosevelt Blvd.). The guys, creators of Adult Swim's Robot Chicken series, are touring the country in a bus to promote the release of the DVD version of the Emmy-nominated Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II. The band Gym Class Heroes will perform. Info: AdultSwimPresents.com.

Rue and beau plight troth, yo

Eastwick star Sara Rue tells Life & Style Weekly that she and her beau, teacher Kevin Price, became engaged nine days ago. Sara was previously wed to Mischa Livingstone.

Saying goodbye some more

Pearl Jam has added two shows, Oct. 27 and Oct. 31, to their already announced goodbye to the Spectrum stop, Oct. 28 and Oct. 30. Tix go on sale Friday at 10 a.m. Info: 1-800-298-4200 or www.ComcastTIX.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.

This column contains information from Inquirer wire services.