Not because I think they don't serve the public by taking the summer off.

But I miss the material. It's been years since I've seen so much low-hanging fruit. Let's review:

There's Jack Kelly, the at-large councilman, wanting to spend $25,000 of taxpayers' money for a public-relations consultant who could raise his profile. Which might be the last thing Kelly needs, if you've ever heard him speak.

"There's a lot of issues that have to be brought forth, that should see the light of day, you might say, for the people of Philadelphia," he explained this week.

No, he insisted, hiring a spin professional had nothing to do with the recent departure of his chief of staff, Chris Wright, who is currently under federal indictment, along with the councilman's campaign treasurer and two top contributors.

Lite beer and late mornings

She's the $90K-a-year gal Friday who was captured on camera showing up hours late for work nine out of the 10 days she was followed. She made matters worse by signing time sheets that put her at her job each day at 9 a.m.

Even video showing him and his aide entering his house during working hours with a case of Coors Lite under his arm left Goode unruffled. And he stayed steadfast after Bryant held up homemade signs at the next Council session, including one that accused a Fox reporter of belonging to the Ku Klux Klan.

There was little left for Goode to do but go on the offensive, blaming some of his office's troubles on the lack of minorities in the media.

Doesn't he know we might have more minorities working in the media if his staff weren't so busy pushing them around?

In case you missed that footage, a raw scene unfolded outside Goode's office Thursday as Fox29 reporter Claudia Gomez chased him for a comment and asked whether he realized she was Hispanic.

The councilman was escorted by a tall, dapper figure in a dark, brimmed hat - a Philly.com commenter wondered whether the mystery man was Huggy Bear, the character Snoop Dogg played in Starsky & Hutch.

Say what?

Which led to this classic response:

"No I didn't. I put my hand up and you ran into it."

I'm betting Huggy is available as a PR consultant, but those sorts of skills cost a lot more than $25,000.

I watched this scene through the wonder of video, which leads us to a third ring under the big top.

For two weeks, Fumocrats Jim Kenney and Frank DiCicco have found their public - and some private - moments captured on videotape by Ed Kirlin, a consultant for Local 98 of the electricians union.

Kirlin, you might remember, is the guy the city Ethics Board has accused of being behind flyers that questioned then-mayoral candidate Michael Nutter's motivations for leaving the Catholic Church.

After the Sept. 18 session, when DiCicco walked over to Committee of Seventy head Zack Stalberg and youth advocate Shelly Yanoff, DiCicco warned them they were being watched by a Local 98 operative.

Kirlin said, "Actually I'm a private citizen who's doing a documentary on crooked politicians with bad toupees." DiCicco said he had no idea what Kirlin was up to. Or what he was talking about. "I'm not a corrupt politician," he told me, "and this is my own hair."

Now there's a guy who needs no spin doctor.