What's a 50-plus-year relationship got to do with it?

I'm just saying Dad Vail sounds like a two-timing boyfriend.

Everyone, it seems, is all up in oars and blaming Mayor Nutter for not fighting to keep the marriage gliding - even though the Dad Vail broke it off and found another sugar daddy without the city even knowing. And all for money, of course.

Rejection hurts. After all, the Dad Vail's prestige draws more than 125 elite college crew teams. Not to mention that the cash-strapped city could sure use the millions in revenue that 100,000 rowing fans are sure to toss around.

"An environment of fellowship," was how one writer described the Dad Vail. "One big, spirited celebration."

Well, it hurts for some people. Of course, we always take back misbehaving boyfriends, but if the city had any foresight, it would shoot for a better version.

One that's a lot more representative.

Especially as our cash-strapped city tries to decide what events to fund, I'm not sure I'd put money into a public event that - unintentionally or not - has become a private endeavor.

The Dad Vail would mean a lot more than just a nerve-racking traffic hassle if it belonged to everyone.

No diversity

Fifteen years ago, then-Fairmount Park Commissioner Richard Gibson threw down the gauntlet when he accused the Dad Vail of being a "segregated" event.

Boathouse members complained that their racial exclusivity was due not to discrimination but to a lack of interest from minorities.

But everybody knows you can't be interested in something you know nothing about.

Which is why Dwayne H. Adams teaches kids motivation, discipline, and respect with every stroke through Breaking Barriers, his year-round rowing program.

"When I was growing up, I didn't even know what Boathouse Row was," admits Adams, 50, who tried rowing to keep fit after a stray bullet left him blind in his right eye.

"When the boathouses were lit up during Christmastime, I thought they were decorations on people's houses on the river."

New racing program

A version of the program exists today. But only one public high school - Boys' Latin of Philadelphia Charter School - fields a competitive year-round crew team.

Latin's small but dedicated squad may have gotten clobbered during its just-completed fall season, but at least the experience will help it compete in the spring.

More important, rowing instills discipline.

"Getting up at 5 in the morning, it makes you do your work," says sophomore Jared Smith, 15, who holds a 4.0 grade point average.

Smith says he wasn't very good at football or basketball, and took to rowing during a summer program at the exclusive Shipley School in Bryn Mawr.

"It was a sport that no one I knew did," he says. "I'm not too good with sports, so I wanted something where we all had a chance to be good."

Still, when he was growing up, he had no idea that the premier rowing race was right in his neighborhood, even as he watched it while walking across the Strawberry Mansion Bridge.

Smith got an opportunity most city kids don't get.

"A lot of kids would have to get started in high school to even have knowledge" about rowing, says Tim Godfrey, Latin's crew coach. "I believe they're seriously hindered in those terms."

Which, of course, would cut off their pipeline to ever being a part of the Dad Vail Regatta, or getting a rowing scholarship.

But it hasn't stopped kids like Smith from wanting to compete.

"I want to get better at racing," he says. "I want people to worry when they see us."

Sounds to me as if he just wants to be a part of one big, spirited celebration.

at 215-854-4986 or Ajohnhall@phillynews.com.