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Billy Wagner gets lit up

Don't invite Wallace Matthews to the same barbecue as Billy Wagner. Or even to the same dogfight.

Don't invite Wallace Matthews to the same barbecue as Billy Wagner. Or even to the same dogfight.

The Newsday columnist roasted the Mets (and former Phillies) closer yesterday in terms usually reserved for people who rip off old ladies.

To wit:

"It's tough to determine who took the Mets for bigger suckers, Bernie Madoff or Billy Wagner," Matthews wrote. "The difference is, Madoff is now in the custody of the U.S government but the Mets are being held prisoner by Wagner."

That assault apparently was brought on by Wagner's refusal to accept a trade to Boston unless the Red Sox allow him to become a free agent at the end of the season.

In other words, he's acting like a baseball player. People, even sportswriters, sometimes forget that professional athletes are interested in themselves to the virtual exclusion of anything else. Witness Jamie Moyer's news conference from the stands two weeks ago.

"Although a favorite of the beat writers because he can be chatty and candid," Wallace wrote, "Wagner is in fact the person many of us unfairly believe all professional athletes to be. In the course of any five-minute conversation, he will reveal his egomania, his self-centeredness, his insecurity and his potential for treachery.

"Every clubhouse he has been in was a happier place after he left."

Whew.

Ouch. Plaxico Burress told ESPN he shot himself in the leg last fall after his .40-caliber Glock began to slide down his pant leg. The wide receiver said he tried to stop the gun from falling and inadvertently hit the trigger.

Asked why he didn't have a holster, Burress said simply:

"Bad judgment."

Finally. If you were hoping to slip off to Rehoboth Beach this fall to enjoy some Indian summer sun and put down a few bets on your favorite NFL team, be advised that Delaware's proposed sports betting parlors have been shot down by a federal court.

So you'll just have to go to your bookie in that neighborhood candy store in South Philly or Camden like always.