White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, on why the crowds were small at U.S. Cellular Field when his team hosted the first-place Dodgers during interleague play: "Because our fans are not stupid like Cubs fans. They knew we're [bleep] . . . Wrigley Field is just a bar."

Career choice of the week

Nationals reliever Julian Tavarez, 36, says he's not planning to retire anytime soon. "As long as I'm healthy, I'm going to play ball," he said. "It was a dream for me to be a baseball player. I didn't go to college. I wasn't going to be a doctor."

Stat of the week

Phillies lefthander Jamie Moyer is two home runs short of passing Ferguson Jenkins for second-most big flies allowed. The Hall of Fame righthander surrendered 484 in his 19-year career. Phillies great Robin Roberts yielded 505.

Bird of the week

The Cubs released Chad Gaudin at the end of spring training.

Signed by the Padres, he was named co-NL Player of the Week after going 2-0 with a 1.20 ERA and 20 strikeouts in a pair of starts. That included allowing just one hit in eight innings to the Rangers.

That sounds like Toby Keith singing "How Do You Like Me Now?" in the background. *

- Paul Hagen