Here are some more ways to get around town with varying degrees of success.

• Rollerblades: Faster than walking, no vehicle to park - but where do you store the pounds and pounds of padding for various body parts?
• Rocket skates: Proven effective by Johnny Knoxville in the movie "Jackass," this inventive, create-your-own, custom-made mode could be a fun family project - or a death wish.
• Razor scooter: Essentially a skateboard with handlebars, for those with poor balancing skills.
• Amish scooter: Not as fast as the Amish motorcycle, but stable enough for sitting and checking your Amish BlackBerry.
• Shopping cart: Get a loved one to push you around and get a head start on your groceries.
• Go-kart: Great on downhill slopes, room for groceries; unfortunately, illegal on city streets.
• Hang gliding: The closest you can get to flying. To infinity and beyond! Downside: Parking is a problem.
• Pogo stick: Good cardio workout, and you'll annoy everyone in your way. Boing!
• Horse: Requires large quantities of fuel, whether traveling or not; occasional toxic emissions may create road hazards.
• Swim: Do the doggie-paddle, freestyle or your own style across the Delaware River. You could make like Washington crossing the river during the Revolutionary War. Only, you know, wetter.
• Train-hopping: Romantic, macho. But access points and routes limited; high risk of injury from hobo fights. Oh, and it's a felony.

- Joshua Mellman