Now, Rafael wants the judge who will sentence him for the slaying to review Ellen's psychiatric records first, so the judge can see what poor Rafael was up against before he pummeled Ellen beyond recognition.

As Rafael's attorney, Frank DeSimone, said last week at what was supposed to have been Rafael's sentencing in Montgomery County Court: "I want the judge to get a full picture of why this happened."

Which sure sounds to me like blaming the victim for Rafael's crime, by using Ellen's own words - uttered in the privacy of her counselor's office - in an attempt to help reduce her killer's sentence.

Here's as full as the picture needs to get in the sentencing of Rafael, a former Penn professor who killed his wife, a homemaker, on Dec. 22, 2006.

Friends and family told prosecutors that the couple had a lousy marriage and slept in separate bedrooms in their Wayne home. They said that Ellen, usually a sunny spirit, had become reclusive and depressed during her increasingly strained union with Rafael.

The couple had stayed together out of devotion to their 12-year-old daughter, Olivia. But by the end of 2006, Ellen had turned an emotional corner. About to turn 50, she wanted a happier life. She had filed for divorce, had a pending financial agreement with Rafael and was excitedly preparing to move into an apartment with Olivia.

Against that backdrop, the couple had an argument as Ellen was wrapping Christmas gifts at the kitchen table. Rafael became so enraged, he later said, that he "just lost it." He grabbed an exercise bar from the living room and "started flailing" at his wife.

Not that he admitted any of this at the time. Instead, he hastily staged a robbery scene at the house and told police he had arrived home to find his wife dead by an intruder's hand.

Investigators quickly began poking holes in Rafael's story, but he adamantly stuck to it even after he was charged with murder. He finally confessed in November, on the day he was to go to trial.

Former Montgomery County District Attorney Bruce Castor had been pushing to use expert testimony from two mental-health experts who would tell the jury that, in their opinion, Ellen was killed in an "enraged blitz" attack by someone who wanted to "depersonalize" her. But Rafael's attorneys argued that such testimony was inadmissible. The clash threatened to significantly delay the trial.

Then, Rafael suddenly came clean and pled guilty that day to manslaughter. In the courtroom, he appeared contrite, especially regarding his daughter.

"I know she loved her mother and her mother loved her, and now she doesn't have a mother," he said, tearing up.

It's impossible for us to know now what's in Ellen's psychiatric records and how the information might help the defense soften Rafael's sentence, which at this point could range anywhere from 42 months to 20 years.

Tressler has postponed sentencing while he considers the matter.

But that Rafael's attorneys had the temerity to ask for the review is repugnant.

What a violation, to drag words uttered by Ellen in confidence to her counselor into the sentencing of her killer.

And what an irony, too:

The state of mind of Ellen's unknown killer wasn't deemed by Rafael's attorneys to be pertinent to the case when Rafael was pretending to be innocent; but his dead wife's mental health is deemed pertinent now that Rafael has admitted he's not.

If Rafael really wanted to show remorse to his daughter, he'd not attempt to defame her mother's memory by exposing Ellen's personal struggles in a courtroom.

Isn't it enough that he took her life? Must he use her own words to take her good name, too? *

E-mail polaner@phillynews.com or call 215-854-2217. For recent columns:

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