"My husband always says to me, 'You have 10 pairs of black shoes.' But I say, 'They're all different,' " Nicole said. "He's the type who has one pair of black shoes and one pair of brown shoes."

Although they represent opposite ends of the financial spectrum, the health-care manager says that she wouldn't have it any other way, because their different approaches to money balance each other out.

The Drumwrights, who live in Mount Airy, have made peace with their different approaches to spending - worth pointing out since so many married folks never manage to.

Financial conflict is a leading cause of marital strife. So, you'd think that potential mates would work really hard to make sure that the person they're involved with has a similar relationship with money. You'd think that prospective mates who enjoy hitting the racks at King of Prussia Mall every weekend would hook up with another free spender, right?

Wrong.

They should, but a whole lot of people do the exact opposite. According to new research, miserly tightwads tend to be attracted to free spenders and vice versa - and this can cause problems in a relationship. In other words, spendthrifts don't automatically run screaming from savers - many wind up falling in love and marrying them.

This makes no sense.

We've all heard that married couples fare better in the long run if they share the same values and come from similar backgrounds. The "whole opposites attract" thing that Paula Abdul used to sing about is just begging for trouble, particularly during hard economic times like these.

And as financial guru Suze Orman says, "Opposites may attract, but I wouldn't put my money on a relationship of financial opposites."

Apparently, plenty of prospective partners ignore the warning signs that they may not be financially compatible with someone. Maybe it's a dopamine thing. You get so high on love hormones, you overlook the fact that your date is a cheapskate. For an explanation as to what's going on, I reached out to Deborah Smalls, one of the coauthors of the spenders-vs.-savers research, a joint effort by the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Michigan and Northwestern University.

Smalls wasted no time pointing out to me that "you are attracted to people who are opposite from you in terms of what you dislike about yourself.

"We are attracted to our opposites but it's not always such a good thing for us," continued Smalls, an assistant marketing professor at the Wharton School of Business. "Couples who are more opposite on this dimension tend to have more arguments over money.

"We don't always make decisions that are best for us," she added.

Given the sky-high divorce rate, that's no surprise.

Cash Goins, a pharmaceutical sales rep who runs a theatrical production company that explores interpersonal-relationship themes, sees couples mired in financial-mismatch all the time but insists it can work, because savers and spenders can balance each other out.

His wife, Tiffany, is the saver, while Goins does the shopping, even for his wife's clothing.

"It definitely works for us," said Goines, whose latest play, "VI Degrees," opens at 7:30 p.m. Friday on Penn's Landing at the Independence Seaport Museum. "Unless you have two people who are filthy, stinking rich, there almost has to be a balance that way.

"Today, with the tough economic times and the strain that's on all of us, if you have both parties in a relationship spending, whatever reservoir you have is going to run empty. There has to be one person in the couple that's frugal. There has to be some type of a balance."

But finding one and reaching it can be too high a hurdle for a whole lot of couples to navigate.

Send e-mail to heyjen@phillynews.com. My blog: http://go.philly.com/heyjen.