Fifty Shades of Drunk and Disorderly

"FIFTY SHADES of Grey" won't go away. It will, however, go from bad to worse.

After attending a Valentine's Day screening of the BDSM romance in Glasgow, Scotland, three women exited a movie theater only to enter a police van.

Their crime was not sex-related. More like drunk and disorderly. They allegedly assaulted a male patron who'd shushed the rowdy, inebriated female trio.

Unlike basically every other man in attendance, the victim apparently wanted to better hear the dialogue between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan.

Witnesses said that the women, ages 31, 38 and 51, "glassed" the guy. A theater representative denied the glassing, and said that no one was attacked by a wine bottle, either.

But the best commentary came from one man who told the Telegraph that he was entering the Grosvenor Cinema with his wife as the suspected assailants were leaving.

The Glasgewian named Michael Bolton (not the Michael Bolton) told a reporter, "Besides being the worst film I have ever seen, three women were getting arrested and put into a police van when we arrived."

Just when Temp Tattle thought she could give Amber Rose a day off . . .

The South Philly babe proclaimed to the Twitterverse that O.J. Simpson is Khloe Kardashian's dad, dodged rumors that ex Wiz Khalifa was gearing up for a custody battle over their 1-year-old son and showed up in Trinidad for Carnival wearing a few blue feathers and beads.

Just a regular day for the former Ms. Levonchuck, who, by the way, also posted a very porny photograph of herself as part of her social-media assault on the Kardashian clan.

Lisa Vanderpump, of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," showed up in New Orleans in hot-pink fur and gloves.

Country musician Dierks Bentley threw beads off a float. John C. Reilly was named King of Bacchus XLVI. The cast of "Hot Tub Time Machine 2," including Craig Robinson, stuck together to plug their new movie and watch the crowd go by.

Nick Gordon, the boyfriend whom Bobbi Kristina Brown frequently referred to as her husband, got her name tattooed onto his forearm.

The public display of affection was the most that Gordon could do. After finding the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown unresponsive in the bathtub of their Roswell, Ga., home on Jan. 31, he is unable to visit her in the hospital.

Bobbi Kristina's aunt Pat Houston has a restraining order against him.

* Selena Gomez appears in the current issue of V Magazine, looking like a countrified pageant toddler yet talking like a grown-up. Tatt-over-Bieber?

* Putnam Books for Young Readers is publishing Pharrell Williams' "Happy" as a kids' picture book. Tatt-song-without-a-roof?

* A white cape and a dope grill were Kylie Jenner's fashion statements at yesterday's 3.1 Phillip Lim fashion show. Tatt-on-a-school-day?

* Rapper Tyga said he's not dating Kylie. Tatt-not-a-grill-guy?

- Daily News wire services

contributed to this report.