Steve and Mia: Newlywed's hubby just says no to sex

Q: I am a homemaker and my new husband of three months works from home.

Until we were married, we had sex at least once a day. Now I am lucky to get him to engage three times a week. I am a highly sexual woman. We both sleep in the nude.

I need eight hours a night to function and he only needs six, so I go to bed without him and wake up alone! I am starting to get frustrated.

He ignores me during the day when we are home alone, but after our kids get home from school, he's all touchy-feely. He knows I am uncomfortable with sex when the kids are home. But when everyone is down for the night he goes back to work.

Should I ask him what's up or just be grateful for what I get? From what I read, most couples have sex only twice a week, so I guess it could be worse.

Steve: Yes, it could be worse. Much worse. You could be married for three years instead of three months. Just kidding! Sex needs communication. You need to find out how both of you can get on the same page timewise. If he loves you, you'll find a compromise that makes you both happy.

Mia: Oh, Steve, you know she's tried communication and it's not working. What this couple needs is a complete shake-up in their routine. Schedule a date night immediately. Get a sitter, make a reservation at a hotel and tell your new hubby to meet you at the bar. I'll bet you have no problems connecting then.

The following week, do something else. Dress up in a racy getup and seduce your workaholic hunk at his desk after the kids are asleep. Whatever you do, don't fall into a routine. Keep up the novelty and sexy surprises, and you won't be sleeping alone night after night.

Q: My husband and I have been married for two years. About six months ago, we moved to another city for his job. I haven't been able to find a job yet.

Meanwhile, we've become good friends with a couple in our new neighborhood. The woman works and her husband works from home. We've shared dinner with them a half-dozen times.

Here's the problem: I am strongly attracted to this man and he to me. We've only been alone twice, once when he was dropping off something he borrowed and another time at his house. Both times, the sexual tension was so strong it was unbearable.

I am sick over this. I can't tell my husband. We can't afford to move. But I don't know how long I can hold out. I fantasize about this man. Help!

Mia: Don't sweat it too much. The human species is hardwired to be attracted to members of the opposite sex and, from time to time, you'll encounter men who are going to turn your head. It's normal.

The trick is to incorporate all that delicious sexual energy into your relationship with your husband. I'm not saying you should fantasize, but there's nothing wrong with acknowledging your attraction and flirting a bit. Just leave it at that. And while you're at it, work on expanding your social circle.

Steve: Think of it this way: If you wind up in bed with this guy, your husband will find out and you'll definitely have to move. Best to avoid being alone with him ever again. And Mia's right, find a bunch of new friends to spend time with.

Steve is a fifty-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers to your romantic troubles, email S&M@

phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.