Oh, yeah, and they can't act.

Yet the legends of the NBA keep trying. Remember Shaquille O'Neal in "Kazaam" or Julius Erving in "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh"? We thought not.

Aside from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in "Airplane," can anyone recall a good movie performance by a pro hoopster?

LeBron James hopes to change that.

LeBron will make his feature- film debut by playing himself in the comedy "Fantasy Basketball Camp."

It doesn't count if he's playing himself . . .

The movie, to shoot next summer, is about five guys who come to Las Vegas to live out their fantasy at James' basketball camp.

Let's call it "The Hang(on-the-rim)over."

At least producer Brian Grazer is honest about what prompted the film:

"I initially sought LeBron out," he said, "because my 8-year-old son, Thomas, and I were just dying to meet him."

Not 'Bad' money

We thought Michael Jackson was broke.

According to court records released yesterday, his mom, Katherine, is receiving $86,804 per month from her son's estate to support herself and her three grandchildren.

Katherine's monthly allowance is $26,804; the children rate a mere $20,000 each.

How is a 7-year-old supposed to live on that?

Tattle sure hopes Katherine is putting some of that money aside for college.

You know, to buy one.

What does Katherine do with her dough (let us note she wasn't living hand-to-mouth before this)? Her monthly $26,804 pays for an assistant, a housekeeper, a driver, utilities, clothing, grooming and other expenses.

Grooming? How did she go to the salon before Michael died?