But seriously folks, I've just been to the mountaintop of gizmo-mania, the annual Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Now to share the wealth (none scored in the casinos) with Takiff's Top 10 Hits from the show.

INTEL-IGENCE: The Intel Corporation was behind several interesting products, none more meaningful than the Classmate PC. It's a sturdy, shock-and water-resistent mini-notebook designed for students (K to 8th grades), with a flip-up swiveling touch screen that turns the 'puter into an electronic tablet for write-on experiences.

The teacher, observing on a large monitor, has a thumbnail view of what each computer-equipped student is up to, can communicate with each kid, and send one student's good work to the others.

This compact, 2.5-pounder is being sold singly for $499 to $599 as the 2Go Convertible from CTL Corp., as the Equus Convertible Nobi and the M&A Technology Companion Touch. Bulk discounts available, natch.

3-D IN YOUR FACE: CES set the stage for the next big format war (and patent royalty split), as varied makers showed off techniques for encoding three-dimensional Blu-ray disc content and displaying it on magically deep, HD stereoscopic screens.

With about 30 new theatrical 3-D films in the pipeline - from "Monsters Vs. Aliens" to "Avatar" - and not enough theaters to show them, there's serious pressure to get home versions ready.

Best of the reach-out-and-touch displays at CES were 3-D LCD TVs from LG and Sony that you view with inexpensive ($1 a pair) yet comfortable polarizing lens glasses, just like the ones at movie theaters.

By contrast, a competing technology touted by Panasonic, Mitsubishi, NVIDIA and Samsung required LCD shutter glasses that are heavier, produce a less bright picture, require recharging and go for $200 a pair.

Um, case closed.

ROCK THE HOUSE: The D-Box Technologies booth offered another great way to throw yourself into the action. Its cool Canadian entrepreneurs have mastered motion codes for video games and movie discs to get motorized theater or gaming seats rocking, rolling and vibrating in sync with the on-screen action.

D-Box Motion Coding is downloaded to a companion control box for DVDs and is pre-installed on Blu-ray discs and PC games.

Now D-Box is introducing the tech in its cheapest GPH-120 chairs (about $3,000) and in the first motion seats to be installed in a movie theater - at the Mann 6 in Hollywood's fabled Grauman's Chinese Theater complex.

Intro of the latter is targeted for "The Fast and the Furious 4," opening in April. People will pay extra to sit in D-Box seats; the experience is more exciting than a ride at Disney World.

SPINNING THOSE WHEELS: This fun seeker also had a great time spinning around a hotel ballroom on a Schwinn Tailwind, the slickest of several pedal-assisted electric bikes debuting at CES. While hugely popular elsewhere in the world, e-bikes have been a flop in the U.S. Schwinn believes a unique upgrade and improved cosmetics will convert the cautious.

The Tailwind uses an advanced Toshiba ion battery that gives you about 20 miles on a mere 30-minute charge. Plus, this locked-down but easily removed battery can be recharged at least 2,000 times - four times that of competitive models - before it starts to loose capacity. The eight-speed (plus three power levels), 50+ pound transporter goes for $3,200.

GREENER TVS: Eco-consciousness also prevailed in new flat-panel LCD and plasma TVs from brands like Panasonic, Philips and Samsung. They consume 25 to 60 percent less power when all fired up. Given that last year's models peaked at 300+ (LCD) to 500+ (plasma) watts, that's saving a lot. Sony was touting new Bravia Eco sets that also shut the standby power consumption down to virtually zero, using a motion detector that senses when no one's in the room.

YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU: Hey there, traveler. Can't find what you want to watch on your Internet-connected laptop or mobile phone?

Place an order for Dish Network's satellite TV service and soon-coming receiver/recorder with on-board Slingbox technology, the EchoStar SlingLoaded ViP 922 HD DVR.

From anywhere on earth, watching on a computer or smartphone (starting with select Blackberry models and, soon,

iPhones), you'll be able to access live and pre-recorded content from a home-based 922.

And because it has multiple tuners, other viewers can simultaneously watch different shows through the same receiver, resolving a shortcoming of previous add-on Slingbox devices. Planned as a $199 lease (with a two-year service contract), this is some swell deal.

LURING IN THE NETS: While many a maker showed TVs that stream select content from the Internet, none were promising more for less than Vizio with its "Connected HDTV" Platform.

Like others, it boasts the Yahoo!/Intel Widget Engine. But Vizio doesn't seem to be playing favorites, promising support for Amazon Video On Demand, Netflix and Blockbuster On Demand, plus Flickr photo sharing, Funspot games and music services like Rhapsody and Pandora.

Vizio's IPTVs will really jump out with wireless Wi-Fi home network connectivity "for the vast majority of people who don't have their TV near a wired Ethernet jack" and by packing a Bluetooth remote control with slide-out keyboard, shared company co-founder Ken Lowe.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE: Video camcorders with cool new features were popping at CES.

Catching our eyes were Sony's two Webbie HD camcorders ($170 and $200) boasting easy transfer to Net spaces, and a trio of Panasonic video shooters ($300 to $500) with a mighty, 70-power optical zoom lens.

Even more practical - the first dual SD card slots for shot storage - as found in small, super-efficient JVC Everio camcos, including the standard-definition GZ-MS120 ($300) and high-def GZ-HM200 ($580).

SD memory cards are much cheaper (per gigabyte) in small-capacity versions than large ones. So these models let you record longer - with seamless shifting between cards - at a far lower price.

PALMS UP: The Palm Pre earned show hurrahs as the first smart phone to deliver true multi-tasking.

Plus, it boasts a touch-sensitive screen and user interface that rival the iPhone in ease and functionality; a uniquely curved design for comfortable calling; a decent, 3-megapixel still camera with flash, and the promise of many "apps" to come. Sprint will offer it in the $200-$250 zone with contract.

SHUT THE &@?! UP: Don't 'cha hate it when a commercial comes on the radio or TV and the volume suddenly CRANKS UP TO A NEAR DEAFENING DIN?!?

Coming to our rescue are audio/video receivers, TVs and speaker sound bars that eliminate these abrupt volume changes. Designed by Dolby Labs (as Dolby Volume), SRS Labs (Tru Volume), Audyssey and Pioneer, the sound-limiting circuitry also dynamically compensates for the ear's lower sensitivity to bass and voices as volumes drop. Look for these sanity savers in 2009 A/V receivers from Denon, Harman/Kardon, Integra, NAD, Pioneer and Onkyo, in TVs from Toshiba and in speaker bars from Vizio. *

E-mail Jonathan Takiff at takiffj@phillynews.com.