Steve and Mia: Roomie's crush on once-platonic friend requires a talk, despite the result

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a 20-something single immersed in the Center City dating scene. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. If you'd like an answer to your romantic troubles, e-mail them at S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101.

Q: I moved in with my best guy friend because financially it was better, and I always hung out at his place anyway. Things have always been strictly platonic, but for the past few months I've started to develop serious feelings for him. He's the last thing I think of when I go to bed and the first thing I think of when I wake up. What's worse is that he's very flirty with me. Quite frankly, we ACT like a couple. We're constantly texting each other while at work and then come home and cuddle on the couch. We go out to dinner together, and I'm sure people think we're a couple. The only thing missing is the kissing and sex. I feel like the feelings are mutual - we just have so much chemistry. But he keeps hooking up with other girls (and then forgetting about them the next day). And he talks to me about how attractive other girls are. So what's the deal? How do I find out if the feelings are mutual without making things awkward? Keep in mind I live with him so confessing my feelings to him may result in me having to move out.

Steve: He sounds like quite the ladies man. What if you introduce sex to your relationship and he continues to hook up with other girls? You'll feel worse than you do now. Still, it's better to resolve this one way or the other. If you want an exclusive, romantic relationship with him, spell it out just that way. If he's not ready for it, or the attraction isn't mutual, then the next move is yours: Move out or accept that the romance won't work, and adjust your feelings appropriately.

Mia: Having to move out shouldn't stop you from saying how you feel. You're going to be unhappy if you stay living there and keep quiet. So tell him how you feel and move out if he doesn't feel the same way. Honestly, even if you do both have feelings, you might want to move out. Starting out a new relationship living together might be a bit much.

Q: My wife thinks it's time to try to have a kid. (We've been married for three years and are both 32.) I'm afraid kids will kill the fun forever. All the parents I know look like dirty zombies. What do you guys think?

Steve: That's because they are dirty zombies! Kids will change your lifestyle. Sort of like how Katrina changed New Orleans. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun. You just have to make sure you carve out time alone for the two of you, at least once a month. (I hope grandparents live nearby!)

Mia: You got me, man. Kids do seem like a lot of work, but I'm sure there are payoffs. Like teaching them to say funny things. That's entertainment right there. I guess at some point you have to dive into stuff like that. Most people survive it. I'm sure you will, too

Q: I just started dating this guy - we've been out like three or four times - and he has already e-mailed me asking when I'm going to switch my status from single to "in a relationship" on MySpace and Facebook. I think it's way to soon to be asking for this. Do I break up with him?

Mia: It is kind of eager, but is it a deal breaker? Be honest with the guy, tell him you're not ready to be exclusive and you'll let him know if/when you are. If he's not cool with it, then break up with him.

Steve: That does make me a bit nervous. Most guys aren't hot to jump immediately into an exclusive relationship. Unless they're the controlling, abusive stalker types. Or desperately insecure.

OK, maybe I'm being too critical. He's probably a sweetheart. But tell him you want to see how things go over the next few weeks before deciding. *