Q: I had been close with a friend while he was going through a divorce (yes, that includes intimacy) but after more than two years we parted ways. I was interested in being committed and he was not (understandable but still hurtful). It clearly wasn't a healthy relationship for me. We haven't seen each other in two months. But I was thinking of inviting him out for an afternoon event. Do you think that is a bad idea?

Steve: No worse than swallowing razor blades. Think of it in A.A. terms: Either you are clean and sober or you are not. There is no middle ground. I'd suggest letting a lot more time pass to ensure that you don't slip back into self-destructive behavior.

Mia: If you actually want to find a healthy relationship, then reuniting with this post-divorce flunkie is not the way to go. Since you wanted a serious relationship before, those feelings are going to come back. And you'll just end up feeling bad about yourself. Leave him in the past where he belongs.

Q: My husband travels for work a lot. He's away three or four nights a week. When I get really lonely, I tend to turn to masturbation to pleasure myself. I once told my husband that I do this and he got really upset. He said I should just wait for nights that he's home. Do you think I'm being selfish, or is he making an unfair request?

Mia: Please. You think he's never doing that out on the road? But, maybe you guys could try phone sex or cybersex when you're apart. That way you could get off together.

Steve: It sounds like he's being selfish. Tell him whenever you think of him, you become so aroused you can't help yourself. That should shut him up.

Q: My best friend just moved in with her boyfriend and suddenly she has no time for me anymore. If I want to see her, I have to go over to her house and hang out with her and the boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, but sometimes I want to have girl talk. When I mentioned this to her, she said I was acting jealous because I was single. But that's really not it. What should I do?

Mia: The ditching-your-friends-for-your-boyfriend move is an oldie but goodie. And you do need to realize that you probably will see less of your pal one on one. But it's not unreasonable to suggest that you have a little girl-time. Invite your friend out for drinks, just the two of you, and have a heart to heart. If she's a good friend, she'll try to make room for you.

Steve: I have to believe the boyfriend has pals of his own. Don't they get together without their wives and girlfriends? Find out when they do and make your own plans. *