Q: I recently went out to a bar and drank way too much. My girlfriends did not want to babysit me, so they called one of my good guy-friends to come get me. I have known him for years and trusted him completely. I woke up naked in his bed the following day. When I asked him what happened, he said that I was all over him and wanted sex really bad. I have had one-night stands, but let's just say that I am not attracted to him at all. Now I don't know what to do. My girlfriends said that I could barely walk when I left. I don't see how I could have been well enough for sex. On the other hand, I feel extremely guilty for thinking such a negative thing about a friend. Should I just try to forget about this and move on?

Steve: I hate when that happens. Your friends did you no favors by handing you off to this guy. And his line about you wanting sex when you could barely walk is total BS. He's not such a hot friend either. Moving on is a good idea, but don't forget this incident because if you do, it might happen again. And that's a bad idea.

Mia: Steve's right. Your so-called friend doesn't sound very nice. A nice guy wouldn't hook up with a woman too drunk to give her consent. A nice guy would wait until the woman had sobered up and made sure she was in her right mind before having sexual intercourse with her.

Your "friend" took advantage of your inebriated state and now is all but blaming you for what happened. Yeah, you're partly to blame, but he's guilty, too.

But your next move really should be about protecting yourself. Get to your doctor immediately. That "nice guy" may have impregnated you or infected you with a venereal disease.

Q: My nephew was murdered in August, my husband took ill in September, and a second nephew was murdered in October. My husband needs me more than ever, but am I selfish to want some time for myself?

Mia: My condolences. Your family has been through so much. No wonder your husband needs you more than ever. But you'll burn out if you don't take time to care for yourself as well.

While this probably isn't the best time to go running off to the islands, maybe you can squeeze in an hour each day to work out or slip away to a quiet place where you can read or meditate. It may seem that you're being selfish, but you're really

fueling yourself to get through what you have to do. Good luck to you.

Steve: No, you're not selfish. Your mental health comes first. You can't be much help to your husband if you've had an emotional collapse. Explain this to him and make sure he knows how you will make time just for him as well. Marriage is about balancing your needs and his needs, and sometimes it gets pretty tricky.