Since then, there have been new developments. Therefore, I'm changing the title of my movie to "Coasters and Crying." Like all good thrillers, it's based on a true story.

It began on Tuesday, when the kids noticed me lying in bed on a well-deserved day off.

"What are you doing, Daddy?" they asked, after barging in at the crack of dawn.

"I'm resting."

"Resting, huh?" said 7-year-old Eve.

She gave 4-year-old Little Solomon the sign, and the boy hit me with the puppy-dog eyes.

"Are you going to take us to buy those toys we wanted?" he asked innocently.

"Not today," I said, trying to turn over.

"Oh." They moved closer so they could stare at me through the covers.

Within minutes, using interrogation methods including whiny voices and sad faces, they learned that I would not be going to work and that I would be home for several days.

I tried not to get more specific, but they broke me. I told them I'd be taking them on a special trip. Then I got up and bought amusement-park tickets.

In accordance with staycation rules, which prohibit airfare, hotels and being trapped in a theme park with kids and a giant mouse in weird red shorts, we did not go to Disney World. Instead, we went to the sweetest, and closest, place on earth - Hershey Park.

Here's how the trip played out:

Noon

We arrived at the park, and because LaVeta gets dizzy on rides that go in circles, I rode the spinning spaceship with Little Solomon. Then I stayed on so Eve could ride, too. Other parents stared suspiciously. They believed this was some kind of scam.

12:30 p.m.

LaVeta asked if I'd be riding the Stormrunner roller coaster, which includes a 90-degree drop. She'd seen me ride it before, but didn't know I only rode it to impress her. I hate 90 degree drops.

12:45 p.m.

I got off the Stormrunner to find that a tearful Eve had been stung by one of the gazillion bees that came to the park to dine on chocolate, flowers and small children.

12:50 p.m.

We accompanied Eve to the first-aid station and learned that she was the first bee-sting victim under 10 who could recite her phone number and address. We also learned that there was no discount for that.

12:51 p.m.

Using guilt as her primary negotiating tool, Eve began milking the bee sting for treats and ride preferences.

3 p.m.

LaVeta went back to the car for something. Little Solomon punched Eve while I wasn't looking. A park attendant reported him to me. When I asked him why he did it, he said Eve was aggravating him. I administered discipline. He cried. I told him to save the UFC tactics for boys.

6 p.m.

LaVeta, who hadn't ridden a roller coaster since the '80s, took the plunge, and we rode one as a family for the first time. "That ride is not for little kids," Little Solomon exclaimed at ride's end. "I'm never getting on it again." I told him that roller coasters help you face your fears. He looked at me as if I were insane.

7:30 p.m.

Eve bought the "face your fears" mumbo-jumbo, and forced me to ride the roller coaster with her again. By then, my stomach was in knots.

8 p.m.

After braving a 90-degree drop, breaking up a steel-cage match, accompanying Eve to the first-aid unit, and listening to my son point out that little kids shouldn't be on roller coasters, I joined my wife in buying lots of chocolate to calm our nerves on the ride home.

Sound like a good flick? I think so, too. "Coasters and Crying." Coming soon to a theater near you.

Solomon Jones will sign his novel "Payback" at Borders, Liberty Place, 1625 Chestnut St., Thursday, Sept. 10, noon to 2 p.m. For information, 215-557-8443.