"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

- Marianne Williamson

THESE WORDS from Williamson's "A Return to Love" are favorites of 31-year-old Lassiter Williams. For most of her young life, the Chester County native and children's author was plagued by her deepest fears, mistakenly believing she didn't measure up.

"Now, I'm actually strong and fit," says Williams. "But, I always thought I was the opposite. "When I was in school there were all the kids that were good in sports and I was just the opposite - not athletic at all. I was one of the dorks. I was smart and into art and stuff."

Like many American women, her self-esteem took a beating when she compared herself to the idealized images of women in the media. Even the images of fit women portrayed in fitness magazines are of "ultrafit" and "ultralean" women, which, for the general population, is generally unrealistic and non-sustainable. It's easy to see how these daily assaults could possibly make ordinary women feel less worthy or, worse, not worthy at all.

"The constant bombardment of media images of women has had an impact on me," says Williams. "It really got into my head and I was raised to believe it. Even though it's not my reality, how I look, how I feel. Intellectually, I know it's all about selling things."

Then, about five years ago, Williams was struck with Lyme disease, which sapped her of her endurance and strength. "I had taken for granted a certain amount of fitness," says Williams. "But, when the Lyme disease struck, I lacked energy to do any physical activity and laid on the couch for three years and lost all of my strength."

But that all changed when, two years ago, Williams decided to work with a trainer and tackle her deepest fears. Now, Williams has exceeded her expectations and has become a virtual powerhouse, able to push and pull her own weight.

With the precision of an elite athlete, she regularly cranks out 90 perfect push-ups, plus pull-ups, dips, and a variety of other very tough exercises. Now, she is not so concerned about measuring up to magazine covers or what her body looks like, but, more importantly, she's concerned about what it can do.

"My mind-set and how I think about myself has changed," she says. "The same way you can strengthen your muscles is the same way you can strengthen your attitude about yourself. We take for granted and think the negative thoughts are the way it's supposed to be [because it's unconscious], but it doesn't have to be that way. The same way you work on your physical strength is the same way you can work on your mental strength and raise your level of self-respect, self-confidence and discover what is right for you - whether it's going to the gym and lifting weights, doing yoga or going for walks."

In addition to her regular workouts at the gym, the once shy Williams has also found a new love: ballroom dancing. "Nothing in the world makes me happier than dancing," she says. "I didn't know that six months ago. But now, the world feels right when I'm dancing. The endorphins, dancing with other people, it's totally awesome." For Williams, dancing is a whole new high.

This self-described "geek" has triumphed over many of life's challenges and finally has landed on top. "Our culture sets us up to think we're not worthy," says Williams, "when in fact we're innately awesome."

I agree. A man's self-esteem does not hinge on his body image, and women's shouldn't, either. Trust your own instincts and forget about media images. You are perfectly you, and what you can do with your body is far more important than having six-pack abs. *

Kimberly Garrison is a certified personal trainer and owner of One on One Ultimate Fitness, in Philadelphia (www.1on1ultimatefitness. com). E-mail her at kimberly@1on1ultimate

fitness. com. Her column appears each Thursday.