PARIS HILTON arrived at a Miami courthouse yesterday for the trial of a federal lawsuit accusing her of failing to adequately promote the DVD release of one of her really bad movies - 2006's "Pledge This!"

Yesterday, Lohan. Today, Hilton. It reminds Tattle of a time before every story was about Michael Jackson.

She is expected to testify today.

Ah, Paris H. (not to now be confused with Michael's daughter, Paris J.), we missed you.

The suit seeks more than $8 million from Hilton and her firm.

Eight million? Didn't anyone see "The Hottie and the Nottie" or "Repo: The Genetic Opera"?

A Paris H. movie couldn't gross $8 million if it was bundled with the new "Transformers."

Hilton claims she plugged the movie numerous times and did everything the contract required.

Michael Jackson update

Is it any wonder that most Americans think Congress is composed of clowns? The economy's in the crapper, the Iranians and North Koreans want nukes, Iraq and Afghanistan are facing surges of violence and there's no consensus on health care and the environment.

Yet Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) still wants to propose a resolution honoring Michael Jackson, proclaiming him an American legend, musical icon and world humanitarian.

You may recall that Rep. Jackson Lee disingenuously held up a framed copy of the resolution at Michael's memorial Tuesday, to great fanfare.

But the resolution had no traction from the start.

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus held a moment of silence in the House after Jackson died June 25, but even then, some congressmen walked out.

When Jackson Lee proposed her resolution the next day, no other black caucus members signed on as co-sponsors except Rep. Diane Watson (D-Calif).

This idea is so bad even Speaker Nancy Pelosi is against it.

Lawmakers are free to use House speeches "to express their sympathy or their praise any time that they wish," Pelosi (D-Calif) said yesterday. "I don't think it's necessary for us to have a resolution."

* TMZ.com reports Michael was buried wearing one white glove.

Sister La Toya chose a leather glove Dorothy Gaspar made for Michael 10-12 years ago. It's covered in Swarovski crystals.

* The Hollywood Reporter says Michael's friend and eulogizer, Brooke Shields, is returning to movies in the live-action family comedy "Furry Vengeance."

Brendan "I never met a script I could say no to" Fraser is playing the lead in the film, about a real-estate developer who battles a band of feisty raccoons.

Shields will play Fraser's wife.

Banana film ripe for suits

Dole Foods sued Swedish filmmaker Fredrik Gertten and his film company for defamation on Wednesday, alleging he insisted on showing his documentary, "Bananas!" at the Los Angeles Film Festival after learning it was based on a fraud.

"To screen, promote, and profit from this film, despite the fact that its entire premise has been adjudicated a fraud . . . is the epitome of reckless and irresponsible conduct," Dole attorney Theodore Boutrous Jr. wrote in the suit. "It cannot possibly be justified or defended. It must stop."

Under threat of lawsuits by Dole, "Bananas!" (no relation to the Woody Allen comedy) was shown twice last month with a lengthy written disclaimer by Los Angeles Film Festival organizers who said it did not present a fair and accurate account but was worth showing as "a case study" of what happens when a story changes after a documentary is completed.

Here's what happened:

"Bananas!" (subtitled "On Trial for Malice") documents the alleged plight of Nicaraguan workers who say they were made sterile by the pesticide DBCP used at Dole banana plantations in the 1970s. It even goes further than the workers' lawsuits, accusing Dole of causing the deaths of banana workers.

After "Bananas!" was completed, a fraud was uncovered - the men were never plantation workers and were recruited to lie by attorney Juan J. Dominguez and his Nicaraguan counterpart in a scheme that could have cost Dole $40 billion in damages.

In an interview before the documentary was shown, Gertten told the Associated Press he knew about the judge's ruling, but asserted he didn't see any evidence of fraud.

"If I saw it, I would publish it. This film is valid," he said. "I hope Dole will understand it is a legitimate piece of work. . . . I believe in freedom of speech and telling the story as I saw it."

Huh?

Tattbits

* Billboard.com reports that Pearl Jam will perform two shows at the still-standing Wachovia Spectrum on Oct. 28 and 30. Tickets go on sale to the general public on July 17 at 10 a.m.

* Will Smith may star in the fantasy drama "The City That Sailed," to be directed by Francis Lawrence ("I Am Legend").

The Hollywood Reporter says the movie is about a Manhattan street magician whose daughter lives in England. With the power of magical lighthouse, the girl reconnects with dad by causing the entire island of Manhattan to drift across the Atlantic Ocean.

Haven't they heard of British Airways? *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com.