For a guy who's allegedly in hiding (in Florida, New York, Africa, etc.) in order to come to grips with his humiliation and get his life together, why is he letting Rachel jabber to anyone who will listen?

All that money is supposed to buy silence - not further embarrassment.

According to the latest News of the World, Rachel says Tiger spent Christmas Day with her as his gift.

And she made out OK too.

She says he gave her "lots of cash and hours of sex" as a present.

Rachel reportedly told a friend how she met with Tiger for several nighttime lovemaking sessions at a pal's mansion in Florida.

She says she wore a ski mask to avoid being spotted.

(Because wearing a ski mask in Florida wouldn't attract any attention.)

"He took care of me really good," Rachel said. "It was amazing and delicious."

Ick.

"Tiger and I have been sneaking around for the last few days. It's been really hard . . . "

(These Tiger items write themselves.)

Rachel said she sees Tiger as both a sex addict and "a superstud." And she sees herself as the next Mrs. Tiger.

Rachel reportedly told her friend who blabbed to News of the World: "It is definitely over with his wife, they are getting divorced and he's agreed to give her $300 million including all the houses.

"He has been sorting things out. We are soul mates. I just want it done. I want to start over again with him."

Added a News of the World source: "They are so into each other that they will take risks to hook up. They are obsessed with one another. Tiger has told Rachel his wife Elin never really fulfilled his needs.

"But Rachel hasn't taken a moment to stop and think about the kids or Tiger's family needs. She can't wait for Tiger to divorce so that they can step out as a couple."

It's not all fun and games for Rachel, however. "She is worried Tiger may fall out of love with her due to the attention," said her "friend".

"She hates seeing her pictures being splattered in the papers, and is worried that the whole country feels she is a 'fat, ugly slob and tramp.'"

(No worries, Rachel. You're not fat, ugly or a slob.)

"We've all told her that she is stunning, but at the moment her self-esteem is low.

"She fears all her friends are betraying her, and that even Tiger is distant."

According to News of the World, he's on his yacht, heading to the Bahamas. Rachel did not make the trip.

* Given all the stories about Tiger Woods and other athletes, what is Minka Kelly thinking?

The New York Post says the "Friday Night Lights" star will marry New York Yankees star Derek Jeter Nov. 5 on Long Island, at the Oheka Castle, site of the recent Kevin Jonas wedding.

* Among the more than 200 former "Survivor" contestants who gathered Saturday night in Los Angeles for the show's 10th anniversary party: Philadelphia's own Stephenie LaGrossa, 30, who's been on two previous "Survivors" - Palau and Guatemala - and will be seen in a third, "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains," starting Feb. 11.

The Old City restaurateur - she and her brother own Gigi Restaurant & Lounge - was accompanied by her fiance, Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick, who, when they're married Nov. 13, will be the second Phils' pitcher to marry a "Survivor" veteran, Cole Hamels having wed "Survivor: Amazon's" Heidi Strobel three years ago. LaGrossa said she'd do a fourth "Survivor" if asked, but there's apparently no chance we'll see Kendrick as a castaway.

"He's already said he wouldn't do it," she said.

Tattbits

* Stuart Townsend has departed Marvel Comics' movie adaptation of "Thor" because of creative differences, according to sources close to the production. Kenneth Branagh is directing.

Townsend was replaced by Joshua Dallas, according to the two anonymous sources.

For more on comic book movies, see Page 36.

* Howie Mandel is replacing David Hasselhoff as one of the judge/cheerleaders on NBC's "America's Got Talent."

He will be teamed with returning judge/cheerleaders Sharon Osbourne and Piers Morgan.

Guy who just played Wagner's "Ring Cycle" on the spoons: Deal or No Deal?

Daily News TV Critic Ellen Gray and wire services contributed to this report.

E-mail gensleh@phillynews.com