MICHAEL JACKSON'S life may have been a twisted soap opera, but at least it had great musical accompaniment.

In death, we're getting all the horror, but none of the "Thriller."

As the nuttiness continued yesterday, TMZ.com reported that Jackson was not the biological father of the two children born to his then-wife, Debbie Rowe, when they were married.

Compounding that oddity are reports that Rowe wasn't even the biological mother, although her lawyer is claiming that she is.

But at least we know that she carried the children to term.

That's more than we know about the youngest child, Prince Michael II, who was not only born to an anonymous donor father (what are the odds that the money Tattle made at the sperm bank a few years ago . . .?) but also an anonymous surrogate mother from San Diego who had no idea that she was carrying Jackson's child.

As Jackson had no blood relationship to any of his children, it might have been a good idea if he had filled out the paperwork to adopt them at some point.

Oops. Forgot.

We are therefore left with three children with no blood relationship to Michael Jackson and no adoption paperwork tying them to Michael Jackson, living under the care of the two people who turned Michael Jackson into Michael Jackson - mother Katherine, whom he adored, and father Joe, who allegedly beat him.

The only bright spot to this sad, lurid mess? It's knocked Kate Gosselin off the tabloid covers.

* L. Londell McMillan, a Jackson family lawyer, said yesterday that Michael did have a will.

"My clients are now aware after filings that a will has been presented," McMillan said. "His various advisers are looking for additional documents."

The existence of a will, and the likely appointment of an executor, could complicate a petition by Jackson's mom to become the administrator of his estate.

* AEG Live, the promoter behind Jackson's sold-out comeback tour, said yesterday that footage of his rehearsals may be released in the future, and that an all-star tribute show based on his canceled concerts is likely.

We must wring ever dollar out of him in death as we did in life.

Randy Phillips, chief executive of AEG, told Britain's Sky News that a tribute featuring members of Jackson's family and other music stars would likely use dance routines, sets and costumes created for the scrapped tour.

Phillips described Jackson as a close friend, and said that MJ had been excited about the concerts - confiding to him the day before his death that he felt ready for his 50 sold-out performances at London's O2 arena.

After a rehearsal June 24, "[Jackson] gave me a hug and he whispered into my ear, 'Now I know I can do this,' " Phillips said.

"At some point the world needs to see this production, and I imagine if we could do it, it would be done as a tribute, with the family - with the brothers performing and some of the sisters - but also the stars who loved Michael and were influenced by him," Phillips said.

"We have the intellectual-property content, we have the sets, we have the costumes . . . ," he said. "It would have been - which is a tragedy - one of the most amazing arena shows ever."

He also denied suggestions that AEG is likely to lose large amounts of money as a result of Jackson's death.

"Our company will be fine financially from this," he said.

* Jackson's body will be taken to Neverland Ranch tomorrow morning for a public viewing Friday, CNN reported, and a private memorial service is scheduled there for Sunday. A source told CNN that a 30-car motorcade carrying Jackson's remains is to leave at 10 a.m. tomorrow for Neverland, about 150 miles away in Santa Barbara County. Not revealed was where Jackson will be buried.

The singer's hometown of Gary, Ind., is asking the family to send him there, according to a spokeswoman for Gary Mayor Rudy Clay. Clay told Chicago radio station WGN that he expects that Jackson's body will, at the least, be taken to Gary for a memorial service that he is planning for July 10 at U.S. Steel Works ballpark, in Gary. "I believe that his body will lie in state in Gary, Indiana," Clay said yesterday. "Now, it may not happen, but I believe it will."

* He's black. He's white. He's yellow.

A different type of tribute to Jackson is taking shape in Iowa.

Iowa State Fair organizers said yesterday that besides their annual butter cow statue, there would also be a high-cholesterol representation of Jackson.

Both butter sculptures will be on display in a cooler at the Des Moines fair from Aug. 13 to 23.

Jackson performed as part of the Jackson Five at the Iowa State Fair, way back in 1971.

* Whatever happens with Neverland Ranch, don't expect Jackson's old menagerie to be back roaming the grounds.

According to TMZ.com, his tigers (Thriller and Sabu) are now living at the Shambala Preserve, in California, and Tippi Hedren ("The Birds"), who runs Shambala, said, "The animals will not be going back. . . . They're staying with me at the sanctuary."

The same goes for Jackson's giraffes, birds and reptiles, now living at the Voices of the Wild Foundation, in Arizona.

Beat the heat with 'Ice Age'

This week's Tattle movie contest is better than cool - it's cold.

It's an "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" prize pack including: a four-pack of passes to see the movie, a four-pack of passes to the Academy of Natural Sciences (19th & the Parkway), and a set of "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" McDonald's Happy Meal toys.

To enter, all you have to do is e-mail your name, address and phone number to tattlecontest@phillynews.com by noon Friday with the words "It would be 'Ice' to win."

Five winners chosen at random will each receive a prize pack. Good luck.

* After so many meals given away over the last few weeks, it's time for dessert.

All three of Naked Chocolate's locations have delicious chocolate, yummy cupcakes and baked goods (the "Junk in the Trunk" bars are sinfully delicious), and a wide array of chocolate molds and drinks, but their spacious new Rittenhouse Square location, at 31 S. 18th St., offers a feast of elegant treats: high tea and high chocolate with sweets including baked Alaska, chocolate fondue, cherries jubilee, bananas Foster and crepe suzettes.

Two winners will each receive free dessert for four at Naked Chocolate's Rittenhouse Square location. To have a chance to win, send an e-mail to tattlecontest@phillynews.com by tomorrow at noon with your name, address, phone number AND the words "I'll keep my clothes on but I love Naked Chocolate."

Only one entry per e-mail address. The two winners will be picked at random. Good luck.

Tattbits

* George Clooney and producing partner Grant Heslov's Smoke House Pictures is close to a two-year development and production deal with Sony Pictures, studio co-chairwoman Amy Pascal said yesterday.

Clooney had been set up at Warner Bros., where Smoke House still has half a dozen projects in development.

* L.A. Schools Superintendent Ramon Cortines isn't amused by GQ magazine photos shot at Birmingham High School that feature Sacha Baron Cohen in his new incarnation as gay Austrian fashionista "Bruno."

The GQ cover story features pictures of "Bruno" wearing shoulder pads, tight red shorts, an athletic cup and little else as he poses with football players at the school.

Cortines says the district has "allowed our students to be used."

* Jilted "Bachelor" contestant Melissa Rycroft, 26, has managed to get engaged the old-fashioned way - without TV cameras.

Her spokeswoman, Susan Madore, says that fiance Tye Strickland, who popped the question to the former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and "Dancing With the Stars" contestant Friday night, is a 28-year-old insurance agent who has been dating Rycroft on and off for 2 1/2 years.

* After 16 years of publication, urban-music magazine Vibe is folding, according to minonline. An internal memo to staff from Vibe Media Group chief Steve Aaron said: "It is with a heavy heart that I share some tough news, VMG is closing down effective today, June 30, due to lack of additional financial investments." The memo cited the collapse of the capital markets, the slump in print advertising and the ongoing recession as contributing to the closure.

* Could the Academy Awards' expansion to 10 best-picture nominees have anything to do with Seth Rogen's being invited to join the Academy?

Rogen, Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway, director Danny Boyle, Viola Davis, Michelle Williams, James Franco, Paul Rudd, Emily Blunt, Jeffrey Wright and Michael Cera are among the 134 people on this year's invitation list.

Kind of fitting that Rogen, Franco and Blunt go in the same year. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com.