TATTLE HAS a sinking feeling that the next few weeks of Michael Jackson mania are going to make the Anna Nicole Smith postmortem circus look like a simple card trick.

With the biggest, most controversial and most bizarre pop-culture figure of the past half century dying mysteriously shortly before the start of his final comeback tour, this story has enough angles - a large, dysfunctional family; a mysterious doctor; drug addiction; and orphaned children from different mothers (one of them unknown) - to keep all the tabloids, gossip mags and entertainment-news shows churning out plotlines for weeks.

Here's a cross-section of the latest reporting:

* Houston attorney Edward Chernoff told the Associated Press yesterday that his client, Dr. Conrad Murray, who was with Jackson when he died, found the former King of Pop in bed with a faint pulse - although he wasn't breathing.

Chernoff says that Jackson was still warm and Murray immediately began administering CPR.

Chernoff says that Murray suggested to Jackson's family that an autopsy be performed - the implication being that his client isn't hiding anything. He adds that Jackson did not get his Oxycontin or Demerol from Murray and that Murray prescribed drugs only in response to specific complaints from Michael.

* London's News of the World reported that as Jackson lay dying, his children thought that he was "just fooling around," an anonymous inside source said.

"He often played dead and would then jump up and surprise them, so they thought he was just having a bit of fun.

"But when they saw the emergency trucks arrive, that really shook them. There were paramedics running upstairs and ambulance sirens blaring. The kids were terrified and started crying and howling for their dad."

News of the World said that Jackson's 11-year-old daughter, Paris, screamed: "Where's Daddy?" as the paramedics burst into their mansion Thursday.

She and brothers Prince Michael and Prince Michael II (aka "Blanket") cried for their father as he lay unconscious. And while the paramedics put Jackson in the ambulance, the children were put into a car with Jackson's mother, Katherine, and sister, La Toya.

News of the World reported that, in a particularly morbid irony at UCLA Medical Center, the children drew Jackson "get well soon" pictures, even though he had already died. Soon after, when word of Jackson's death became official, the children were hurried back to their Encino home.

* According to the News of the World source, Dr. Murray also thought that Jackson was playing dead.

"Murray tried to talk to Michael to rouse him," said the LotW source, "but soon realized it was no joke. It suddenly dawned on him he was in deep trouble."

No sh--, Sherlock.

* So what might have happened?

"We were told that Michael had also been given a tranquilizer shot in the night and was pacing around the house frantically," said the source.

"He'd had a long day at his show rehearsals, which had ended after midnight. Weirdly, the work left him completely wired - he was so exhausted he couldn't sleep.

"He couldn't sit down or stay still for a second and asked for a shot to calm his nerves.

"Lord alone knows how many sleeping pills he'd also popped to try and nod off. Michael was just on edge, a wreck and a complete mess. He complained that his heart and chest were pounding."

* Joe Jackson, Michael's father, meanwhile, told Fox News' "Geraldo at Large" yesterday that he did not believe that stress over the comeback concerts led to Michael's death.

Of course, Joe might not be the best person to determine when Michael was stressed.

* God complex alert: Joe said that he believes that Michael will be larger in death than he was in life.

"Michael was the biggest superstar in the world and in history," Joe told "Geraldo." "He was loved by everybody, whether poor or wealthy or whatever may be."

* Jackie, Jermaine and Tito Jackson visited Neverland Ranch on Saturday, according to the Associated Press, where they lunched with investor Thomas Barrack, who set up the joint venture that allowed Jackson to save the ranch from foreclosure.

TMZ.com reported that one idea for Neverland is to turn it into a Michael Jackson Museum.

* Media requests for last night's BET Awards show doubled following Jackson's death, and the red carpet was lengthened. Beyoncé and Ne-Yo also worked to overhaul planned performances so that they could honor Jackson.

* A private pathologist hired by the Jackson family completed the second autopsy Saturday, the Los Angeles Times reported, citing unnamed sources.

The second autopsy might allow the family to get details about Jackson's death faster than waiting for the L.A. County coroner's official report.

* TMZ.com reported that the Jackson family was in high demand following Jackson's surprise death, with offers pouring in from promoters hoping to cash in on a tribute tour.

(Tattle thinks that it's bad form to sign any deals before the burial.)

Michael's nanny speaks

Grace Rwaramba, the longtime nanny of Jackson's children until he fired her two months ago, has broken her Michael-enforced silence.

Rwaramba was in London when she heard of Jackson's death, and News of the World reported that as she prepared to fly back to California to comfort Michael's children, she got a creepy call from one of his relatives.

Rwaramba told TV interviewer Daphne Barak: "The relative said, 'Grace, you remember Michael used to hide cash at the house? I'm here. Where can it be?'

"I told them to look in the garbage bags and under the carpets. But can you believe that? They just lost Michael a few hours ago, and already one of them is calling me to know where the money is!"

Sadly, we can believe that.

"They also told me the children were crying and asking about me. They can't believe their father died."

Rwaramba, 42, had been a loyal (read: silent) employee during her 17 years with Jackson, but once she started talking . . . she said that Jackson had taken so many drugs over the years, she had to pump his stomach on occasion so he wouldn't die.

Rwaramba said that she was fired because Jackson thought that she was getting too close to the children. She added that she had been canned before but that Jackson always begged her to return because he needed her help.

She told the interviewer: "These poor babies. . . . I was getting phone calls that they were being neglected. Nobody was cleaning the rooms because Michael didn't pay the housekeeper.

"I was getting calls telling me Michael was in such a bad shape. He wasn't clean. He hadn't shaved. He wasn't eating well. I used to do all this for him and they were trying to get me to go back."

(It's unclear who "they" is. It's also surprising that Michael shaved.)

Now, Rwaramba may end up involved in the custody battle.

"I took these babies in my arms on the first day of each of their lives," she said. "They are my babies."

She claimed to the interviewer that she was the stabilizing, loving influence in the lives of Jackson's children - that Jackson was, believe it or not, a little odd.

"I used to hug and laugh with them," she said of the kids. "But when Michael was around they froze. I really miss Blanket. He makes me laugh. Only recently, he decided to do a concert for me. He was so cute, singing 'Billy Jean' and other songs by his father.

"I was laughing so hard. Prince and Paris were playing around. It was such a happy moment. Then suddenly Michael walked in and the kids just looked frightened. Michael was so angry."

Rwaramba added that the kids didn't like the masks that Jackson made them wear in public, and that even though they didn't go to school they were not being home-schooled. They had no teacher.

She also said that following the 2005 child abuse case against Jackson, he was essentially broke, living off handouts, like those of Bahrain King Sheikh Abdullah, and that he borrowed cash from his wealthy friends.

"The truth is, Michael didn't have money," she said. "One day out of the blue he received some cash but instead of buying a house somewhere so we didn't have to keep moving from one hotel to another or stay with friends, he told me, 'Go to Florence and buy antiques.' "

Rwaramba said that she spent nearly $1 million in Italy, "But we didn't even have a home so we had to put them all into storage."

Tattbit

* Many Americans grieved the death of Michael Jackson by sitting in a dark theater watching giant robots blow stuff up.

Since it opened Wednesday, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" has taken in a crazy $201.2 million, according to studio estimates. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com.