What Harry says: No one (including a parent, child, or brother) can force you to handle his estate. If he doesn't want his daughter to be his heir, he can leave everything to anyone else or to a charitable organization. I'm sure his church, United Way, or the American Cancer Society would be delighted to take over at his death.

Dear Harry: I am writing this letter for a friend who recently attended a seminar sponsored by National Government Grant Conferences. We both suspect that they are running a scam. Let me give you some of the reasons we feel this way. There were people in the audience who were just too enthusiastic; they were almost certainly shills. They were charging $1,000 to help you get government money that they claim you couldn't get without their help. It seems to us that you can get government money by contacting government agencies directly or with the help of your senator or representative. They pressured the audience not to listen to the "naysayers" out there. My friend felt that they were targeting women and minorities who were most likely to be desperate enough to fall for slick scams. If this is a scam, how are they able to stay in business without being "busted?"

What Harry says: We did some extensive research on this outfit and others with similar names. Every one that we looked at seemed to be a scam, including the one whose seminar your friend attended. Similar scams were prevalent as far back as the mid-80s. It is very unfortunate that they do prey upon those among us who are most vulnerable. This group is also the least likely to report such goings on to the FBI and local district attorneys. Incidentally, did your friend report the scam to the authorities?

Dear Harry: My husband and I are 67, and we have three adult children. We own our own home worth about $400,000 with a mortgage of just under $100,000. Is it possible to place this house into a trust for our children so that the title can be transferred to them with no inheritance tax? Would this also protect its value in the event that either or both of us should need nursing home care? Must we notify the mortgage company? How about the cost of setting this up?

What Harry says: Possible? Absolutely, but . . . Let me take exception to your plan. First of all, you would have to file a gift tax return even though no tax would be due. Then there is the time factor. Any gift within a year of death will be counted as part of the taxable amount for the inheritance tax in Pennsylvania. The period of the "lookback" for Medicaid purposes is now five years, so the transfer may not prevent the inclusion of the home's net value for determination of eligibility for government help in paying for nursing homes. Finally, giving money or property to children is almost always a one-way street: it never comes back if it's needed. And the morality of attempting to use the limited funds of Medicaid for people who can afford to pay their own way?? There you have it. The choice is yours.

Dear Harry: I'm a retired civil service employee receiving a pension from the United States. I am exactly 10 quarters shy of having enough quarters to apply for SS benefits. However, my wife is retired and will be eligible for SS in about two years. I have two questions: Will I be able to collect as a spouse under my wife's eligibility? Will it pay me to take a part-time job for a couple of years to make myself eligible on my own?

What Harry says: You will be able to claim a spouse's benefit provided you're at least 62 when she becomes eligible. The question on getting your own SS is more difficult. It will depend on your earnings history and your future earnings. My guess is that it will be short of your spousal claim. However, a visit to your local SS office will get you a lot of more specific answers including some "what if" questions.

Dear Harry: I am the father of a 1-year-old daughter. I'm estranged from her mother, and that's where the problem began. The court ordered her mother to give me full custody with no visitation rights for her. I won't go into the reasons. My daughter's mother is very vindictive and extremely nasty. She has started to give my daughter's SS number to a number of her friends so they can claim my daughter on their tax returns and cause me trouble. One of our mutual friends told me of this last month. Some have even paid her a percentage of the money they saved by doing this! I have written to her (certified mail) demanding that she stop doing this, but she ignores me. How can I stop her?

What Harry says: She's a real beaut, isn't she? Not only is she in deep poop, but any of her friends who try to claim your daughter as a dependent is in there with her. This is clearly a tax fraud and conspiracy, and the IRS does not look kindly upon this stuff. There could be prison time as well as monetary penalties for this. Contact the IRS Taxpayer Advocate for a specific way for you to report what's going on. The phone number is 1-877-777-4778.

Dear Harry: On one of the days when the stock market took a big tumble, I sold two stocks that I held for a long time. I had gains on both of them. I know I made a mistake, and I'd like to buy them back, but isn't there some 30-day-rule that says that I can't do this?

What Harry says: There is no 30-day-rule on repurchasing stock sold at a gain. You can buy them back at any time with no consequences other than the requirement that you report the capital gain on your 1040 for 2008. However, there is a 30-day-rule on losses. The rule is not a prohibition; it is rather a means of preventing the deduction of a loss when your investment position is the same as before the sale. It's known as the "wash sale" rule. If you sell a stock at a loss, and buy that same stock within 30 days before or after the sale date, the deduction for the loss is not allowed. It is instead added to the cost of the new purchase. For example, you sell stock today for $12,000 which had a cost to you of $15,000. Next week you buy it back for $13,000. The loss of $3,000 will not be deductible. It will be added to the cost of the new purchase to give an adjusted cost of $16,000. This makes your position as if the first sale was a "wash" and never took place. If you later sell the new shares for $20,000, you will have a gain of $4,000. That's a total cost of $28,000 against a total sale price of $32,000 for the two transactions combined. I repeat that the rule does not apply to any sales at a gain. *

Write Harry Gross c/o the Daily News, Box 7788, Philadelphia, PA 19101. Harry urges all his readers to give blood - contact the American Red Cross at 800-GIVE LIFE.