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You could call it a late mid-life crisis, but instead of changing her hair color and snapping up a new sports car, Sofia McNellis, of Malvern, decided to bring her family closer together.
The diminutive McNellis is big on family traditions and upholding her Italian heritage. As it turns out, the rest of her family was not. In an effort to fulfill her slight anxiety after turning 60; and to bring some of her family members back from their apathetic view on tradition, McNellis decided to go the book route — and it’s been a tough process. The final result is “It’s Time to Remember: My Memories, Journey, and Dreams.”
“When I turned 50, it was no big deal. I didn’t feel anything, it was no big whoop,” McNellis said at her kitchen table while thumbing through a rough copy of her book. “But when I turned 60, I wasn’t feeling old, but I started thinking, ‘What have I accomplished?’”
It’s not that McNellis hasn’t done anything. She was a teacher for 25 years, a feat in itself, and also worked at GE. Still, teaching didn’t help hand down any traditions. As her mother’s health began to falter, she came to realize that she wanted her nephews and niece to remember their grandmother and her family traditions, though they weren’t holding them up.
“They were just so busy,” McNellis said simply. “My brother, he’s in a different state every week traveling, and my nephews have school and part-time jobs. I hardly see them.”
To help uphold some of her mother’s traditions, McNellis wrote a cookbook, inspired by recipes from family and friends.
The result?
“For some reason, it wasn’t enough — it didn’t do it for me,” she said. “I just had this drive that I wanted to leave a legacy. I wanted somebody to say, ‘I knew Sophie McNellis and she [wrote this book] and she is a nice person.’”
Back to the drawing board, albeit unconsciously, McNellis said she started waking up in the early mornings, and jotting thoughts down. She started writing poems that both hark back to her childhood and express everyday situations. She intertwined those with some recipes, photographs of family members and trips, and clip art. After getting some help with crudely binding it together, she took the product, “Words for Hire; Food for Thought,” to the neighbors of one of her friends, who were retired from the world of publishing. They said it was good, and suggested McNellis attempt to get it published.
McNellis then sent “Words for Hire” to a self-publishing company and was later greeted by a 24-page negative evaluation.
“I got very upset,” McNellis said. “I wasn’t able to figure out what they were talking about. I said, ‘You know, I can’t understand why I can’t figure out what they’re talking about.’ I expected some criticism, but thought it was tough for a first-time author. You know, they could have at least said my margins were correct!”
McNellis also took criticism from family members on the first draft. Her nephews, while they liked having McNellis read the stories to them, said they wouldn’t read it on their own, adding that it wasn’t their type of book. And McNellis’ brother placated her dream of leaving a legacy — and told her where to put the book.
“My brother didn’t like it,” McNellis said. “He said, ‘Don’t go nuts. Just get it published. You’ll fulfill the milestone; you’ll feel better — pack it away and put it in the attic.’”
With help from a professor and a student at Immaculata College, McNellis revised the book, and improved it. Stories of her childhood, as well as general essays about everything ranging from menopause, to the values in society to the loss of her parents, accompany poems helping with the flow. Recipes are scattered here and there, the clip art is gone; random photographs of family members have hit the editing room floor as well.
There’s a story in the prologue about McNellis’ grandmother’s life in South Philadelphia; how she prayed for people that stopped by her house, and was known as a healer.
(She also healed a horse belonging to a local merchant, McNellis recalls.) Other entries touch on broader themes of life, and seem to be more of an abbreviated editorial than an essay. In an article called “Unacceptable,” she laments everything from drug abuse, to reality TV, to tattoos.
Members of her family have read the revised “It’s Time to Remember,” and got their seal of approval. She said the book has helped engender a respect for her mother’s traditions in her nephews and niece, and has brought the family closer together. And why not throw in a recipe for meatballs while you’re at it?
“I said to my nephews, ‘I’m not moving on,’” McNellis said about her grandmother’s traditions. “’You’re going to remember grandmom whether you like it or not. So when I bring her into the conversation, you listen, shut up and don’t complain about it.’”
They don’t.
In a recent visit, McNellis’ brother said he enjoyed the book, and it brought back some of his memories of living in South and West Philadelphia. McNellis remembered some stories as well, like the time she and her brother would attach gum to the end of sticks to pick up the loose change dropped by in the grates on the sidewalks by the drunks leaving the corner bar. Her brother suggested McNellis write a book solely about those memories.
And that’s next on the docket for the fledgling writer.
“It’s Time to Remember: My Memories, Journey and Dreams,” may be purchased online at www.amazon.com.
The diminutive McNellis is big on family traditions and upholding her Italian heritage. As it turns out, the rest of her family was not. In an effort to fulfill her slight anxiety after turning 60; and to bring some of her family members back from their apathetic view on tradition, McNellis decided to go the book route — and it’s been a tough process. The final result is “It’s Time to Remember: My Memories, Journey, and Dreams.”
“When I turned 50, it was no big deal. I didn’t feel anything, it was no big whoop,” McNellis said at her kitchen table while thumbing through a rough copy of her book. “But when I turned 60, I wasn’t feeling old, but I started thinking, ‘What have I accomplished?’”
It’s not that McNellis hasn’t done anything. She was a teacher for 25 years, a feat in itself, and also worked at GE. Still, teaching didn’t help hand down any traditions. As her mother’s health began to falter, she came to realize that she wanted her nephews and niece to remember their grandmother and her family traditions, though they weren’t holding them up.
“They were just so busy,” McNellis said simply. “My brother, he’s in a different state every week traveling, and my nephews have school and part-time jobs. I hardly see them.”
To help uphold some of her mother’s traditions, McNellis wrote a cookbook, inspired by recipes from family and friends.
The result?
“For some reason, it wasn’t enough — it didn’t do it for me,” she said. “I just had this drive that I wanted to leave a legacy. I wanted somebody to say, ‘I knew Sophie McNellis and she [wrote this book] and she is a nice person.’”
Back to the drawing board, albeit unconsciously, McNellis said she started waking up in the early mornings, and jotting thoughts down. She started writing poems that both hark back to her childhood and express everyday situations. She intertwined those with some recipes, photographs of family members and trips, and clip art. After getting some help with crudely binding it together, she took the product, “Words for Hire; Food for Thought,” to the neighbors of one of her friends, who were retired from the world of publishing. They said it was good, and suggested McNellis attempt to get it published.
McNellis then sent “Words for Hire” to a self-publishing company and was later greeted by a 24-page negative evaluation.
“I got very upset,” McNellis said. “I wasn’t able to figure out what they were talking about. I said, ‘You know, I can’t understand why I can’t figure out what they’re talking about.’ I expected some criticism, but thought it was tough for a first-time author. You know, they could have at least said my margins were correct!”
McNellis also took criticism from family members on the first draft. Her nephews, while they liked having McNellis read the stories to them, said they wouldn’t read it on their own, adding that it wasn’t their type of book. And McNellis’ brother placated her dream of leaving a legacy — and told her where to put the book.
“My brother didn’t like it,” McNellis said. “He said, ‘Don’t go nuts. Just get it published. You’ll fulfill the milestone; you’ll feel better — pack it away and put it in the attic.’”
With help from a professor and a student at Immaculata College, McNellis revised the book, and improved it. Stories of her childhood, as well as general essays about everything ranging from menopause, to the values in society to the loss of her parents, accompany poems helping with the flow. Recipes are scattered here and there, the clip art is gone; random photographs of family members have hit the editing room floor as well.
There’s a story in the prologue about McNellis’ grandmother’s life in South Philadelphia; how she prayed for people that stopped by her house, and was known as a healer.
(She also healed a horse belonging to a local merchant, McNellis recalls.) Other entries touch on broader themes of life, and seem to be more of an abbreviated editorial than an essay. In an article called “Unacceptable,” she laments everything from drug abuse, to reality TV, to tattoos.
Members of her family have read the revised “It’s Time to Remember,” and got their seal of approval. She said the book has helped engender a respect for her mother’s traditions in her nephews and niece, and has brought the family closer together. And why not throw in a recipe for meatballs while you’re at it?
“I said to my nephews, ‘I’m not moving on,’” McNellis said about her grandmother’s traditions. “’You’re going to remember grandmom whether you like it or not. So when I bring her into the conversation, you listen, shut up and don’t complain about it.’”
They don’t.
In a recent visit, McNellis’ brother said he enjoyed the book, and it brought back some of his memories of living in South and West Philadelphia. McNellis remembered some stories as well, like the time she and her brother would attach gum to the end of sticks to pick up the loose change dropped by in the grates on the sidewalks by the drunks leaving the corner bar. Her brother suggested McNellis write a book solely about those memories.
And that’s next on the docket for the fledgling writer.
“It’s Time to Remember: My Memories, Journey and Dreams,” may be purchased online at www.amazon.com.
