Archive: September, 2008
It is just that time of the year. Lots of kids, all over the area, are going back to school. Leaves are changing, the days are getting shorter. It is just the normal cycle of things. Fall is upon us.
I have watched for many years now, children buy school supplies, pack their backpacks and lunch bags, and board a big yellow school bus. It has been quiet a while since I was the one jumping on board, so I truly have not concerned myself with the rituals of the season in a long time. All of that changed this week when my very own baby headed off for his very first day of school.
My son is only 3. It is only pre-school. It is only two days a week. In fact, it is two half days, for only five hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but to me, it might as well be an eternity. He has stepped into the next stage of his life, the school years, and for his mommy, yours truly, it was a bumpy road.
My son, as usual, adjusted gracefully. He was thrilled to go meet new friends. He would get to have "circle time" and "story time." He'd get to play outside with kids his own age. He could barely sleep the night before. He was just so ready to go.
On the flip side of that coin, I took weeks to prepare myself. I cried three nights before he even went. I made sure he had a nice outfit for his first day, two changes of clothes (as instructed by his teacher) and his little backpack all ready to go. It didn't matter. I cried my eyes out when he walked out the door, despite the huge grin on his own face and a spring in his little step.
He was so ready. And, I was so not.
I suppose that is the cycle of life. As our mommies watched us, so too must we watch our own tots grown up, cry our own tears and help our own kids form into functioning, educated adults. I knew it would come. He'd have to go to school some day. He couldn't always be taught by his dad, who stays at home with him, and has since birth. He couldn't learn all he needs to know from me, either. It is just a fact of life, kids go to school. They need to learn. They need to socialize. It is a fact of life.
Still, nothing prepared me for that first day, and I suppose nothing really would, for any parent. Though, I will say, his dad took it much better.
"Why are you so upset?" he asked me. "Aren't you excited to see him be a big boy, to grow up?"
"No. I want him to need his mommy. I don't want him to get older because that means he won't need us, he'll grow up, and then he'll move out," I cried.
"Yeah, in 15 years," my husband replied.
It is true. I have lots of time still with my baby boy. And, quite frankly, no matter his age and no matter what roof he lives under, he always will be my baby boy. I will accept with time the change, and adjust to our new life with a school boy in the house. He isn't a baby any more, and I know that... even if my heart won't admit it, and likely never will.
I have watched for many years now, children buy school supplies, pack their backpacks and lunch bags, and board a big yellow school bus. It has been quiet a while since I was the one jumping on board, so I truly have not concerned myself with the rituals of the season in a long time. All of that changed this week when my very own baby headed off for his very first day of school.
My son is only 3. It is only pre-school. It is only two days a week. In fact, it is two half days, for only five hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but to me, it might as well be an eternity. He has stepped into the next stage of his life, the school years, and for his mommy, yours truly, it was a bumpy road.
My son, as usual, adjusted gracefully. He was thrilled to go meet new friends. He would get to have "circle time" and "story time." He'd get to play outside with kids his own age. He could barely sleep the night before. He was just so ready to go.
On the flip side of that coin, I took weeks to prepare myself. I cried three nights before he even went. I made sure he had a nice outfit for his first day, two changes of clothes (as instructed by his teacher) and his little backpack all ready to go. It didn't matter. I cried my eyes out when he walked out the door, despite the huge grin on his own face and a spring in his little step.
He was so ready. And, I was so not.
I suppose that is the cycle of life. As our mommies watched us, so too must we watch our own tots grown up, cry our own tears and help our own kids form into functioning, educated adults. I knew it would come. He'd have to go to school some day. He couldn't always be taught by his dad, who stays at home with him, and has since birth. He couldn't learn all he needs to know from me, either. It is just a fact of life, kids go to school. They need to learn. They need to socialize. It is a fact of life.
Still, nothing prepared me for that first day, and I suppose nothing really would, for any parent. Though, I will say, his dad took it much better.
"Why are you so upset?" he asked me. "Aren't you excited to see him be a big boy, to grow up?"
"No. I want him to need his mommy. I don't want him to get older because that means he won't need us, he'll grow up, and then he'll move out," I cried.
"Yeah, in 15 years," my husband replied.
It is true. I have lots of time still with my baby boy. And, quite frankly, no matter his age and no matter what roof he lives under, he always will be my baby boy. I will accept with time the change, and adjust to our new life with a school boy in the house. He isn't a baby any more, and I know that... even if my heart won't admit it, and likely never will.
Posted by Melissa Treacy @ 8:14 PM
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We all have stress. In one way or another, it is fairly likely that something in your life is just a hair off of perfect. In some way, it is likely that something in your day-to-day goings on bothers you. For some of us, work can be a lot to handle on certain days. For others, the kids can really get on your nerves. I mean, we love ‘em, but if we have to hear one more fight about who gets to sit in the front seat, Lord help them. Maybe the daily traffic routines have you in a tizzy. Whatever it may be, likely something in your world bugs you. And, that causes stress.
We have all heard of the infinite ways that stress takes a negative toll on your life. From headaches and body tension, to excess eating and weight, we all handles stress in different ways, but chances are pretty good, stress is having an effect on your body. And, of course, stress affects everyday life (attitude?). Maybe your rough day at work means you snip a little too much at the kids. Perhaps that nasty gesture at the car that cut you off was a bit over the top, but you had been in traffic over an hour, right?
No matter the way you spin it, stress can cost you. I had my annual check-up at the doctor’s this week, and as usual, he told me I need to stop stressing so much. How can I find ways to decrease my stress? In my opinion, that is far easier said than done. There are countless things in our daily lives that we can’t control. We may not be able to change our jobs, make the kids get along every day or decrease the traffic in Greater Philadelphia, but how we react to all of those things, well, that we can control.
In my quest to “follow doctor’s orders,” I am taking some time out of my hectic day to think about the things that bother me. Why do they bother me? Why do they stress me out? I think this is a good first step. Like so many “step” programs out there, the first step is admitting we have a problem, right? So, identify that problem, and be clear about what it is that bothers you and why.
My next step (and mind you, I am no life coach here, but I can tell you what I am doing to decrease stress in my life) is to think about the things I can control in life. There is that little saying “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” and I am taking it to heart.
I took some time this weekend to outline the things that are bothering me first, that I can change. I am not thrilled with my weight gain. Stress (and having two babies, of course), has created some horrible eating habits for me. So first stop, set up a reasonable and healthy diet plan.
Part of that routine, not only to lose weight, but further decrease my stress, is to set up a work-out routine. Even if my schedule is jammed, I really need to find time for the gym. It is necessary to be health and fit. And, it is helpful for lowering stress in and of itself.
In my world, having no time for my husband also bothers me. So, we called on a babysitter and decided that the time and money to go out every other week on a date night is well worth the planning.
Thirdly, I feel that having time for one’s self is also key. This past weekend, I literally bought a desk-sized calendar to schedule all of these crucial times: time for me, time for the gym, time for the family and time for the husband.
Maybe you aren’t as anal retentive as I am about such organization, but I will admit, it made me feel better about the chaos. I may have a lot to work into my schedule, but organizing and taking control of what I can makes me feel a lot better about the things I cannot change.
We have all heard of the infinite ways that stress takes a negative toll on your life. From headaches and body tension, to excess eating and weight, we all handles stress in different ways, but chances are pretty good, stress is having an effect on your body. And, of course, stress affects everyday life (attitude?). Maybe your rough day at work means you snip a little too much at the kids. Perhaps that nasty gesture at the car that cut you off was a bit over the top, but you had been in traffic over an hour, right?
No matter the way you spin it, stress can cost you. I had my annual check-up at the doctor’s this week, and as usual, he told me I need to stop stressing so much. How can I find ways to decrease my stress? In my opinion, that is far easier said than done. There are countless things in our daily lives that we can’t control. We may not be able to change our jobs, make the kids get along every day or decrease the traffic in Greater Philadelphia, but how we react to all of those things, well, that we can control.
In my quest to “follow doctor’s orders,” I am taking some time out of my hectic day to think about the things that bother me. Why do they bother me? Why do they stress me out? I think this is a good first step. Like so many “step” programs out there, the first step is admitting we have a problem, right? So, identify that problem, and be clear about what it is that bothers you and why.
My next step (and mind you, I am no life coach here, but I can tell you what I am doing to decrease stress in my life) is to think about the things I can control in life. There is that little saying “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” and I am taking it to heart.
I took some time this weekend to outline the things that are bothering me first, that I can change. I am not thrilled with my weight gain. Stress (and having two babies, of course), has created some horrible eating habits for me. So first stop, set up a reasonable and healthy diet plan.
Part of that routine, not only to lose weight, but further decrease my stress, is to set up a work-out routine. Even if my schedule is jammed, I really need to find time for the gym. It is necessary to be health and fit. And, it is helpful for lowering stress in and of itself.
In my world, having no time for my husband also bothers me. So, we called on a babysitter and decided that the time and money to go out every other week on a date night is well worth the planning.
Thirdly, I feel that having time for one’s self is also key. This past weekend, I literally bought a desk-sized calendar to schedule all of these crucial times: time for me, time for the gym, time for the family and time for the husband.
Maybe you aren’t as anal retentive as I am about such organization, but I will admit, it made me feel better about the chaos. I may have a lot to work into my schedule, but organizing and taking control of what I can makes me feel a lot better about the things I cannot change.
Posted by Melissa Treacy @ 8:13 PM
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