Despite tight cash, Michael was pleased to be able to take his ailing 90-year-old mother out to a particular café so that she could indulge, perhaps for the last time, in her favorite frappé. It was uplifting to see Ruth’s appetite perk up after losing so much weight and slipping so fast. 
    Because the pizza there was exceptionally good, he asked the waitress for one to go, so that Ruth would be able to enjoy it easily at home in small portions over the next few days.  As they prepared to pay the bill, the server announced that the pizza was on her — a gift to Ruth.  The waitress had recognized Ruth as the “cafeteria lady” from when she was a youngster in school. Many times the girl had come to school with no lunch money, but Ruth had made certain that no child ever went hungry. 
   Basic goodness doesn’t always get directly appreciated, much less repaid. So, when an opportunity presents itself to express gratitude and affection, it’s heartwarming to see kindness complete the circle.
    This is not the same thing as dutiful reciprocity or score-keeping. Rigid tallying who owes the next beer or phone call may balance the books, but it can also chill the life-affirming circulation, by framing interpersonal relationships as banking transactions instead of humane caring.
   I recently listened to some life lessons of the 71-year-old Mary Zeigler, a registered nurse who founded and operated Zeigler’s Carousel Day Care for 35 years. Zeigler continues working at a Sunday church nursery. No matter what the job is, she insists on highest performance standards and ethics.
    “Children learn what they live,” she observed, reminding adults to model behavior worthy of imitation. She abides no gossiping by the staff about each other or about the children and their families. Zeigler respects confidentiality and notes, “You never talk about other people’s business. You never know who knows whom.” 
   For instance, Zeigler learned after a number of weeks that she was caring for the children of her own physical therapist.  Imagine the potential dynamics if prior to realizing their common bonds, either woman had been bad-mouthing the other. 
   In another situation, as a pediatric nurse at the end of a difficult shift, Zeigler had to deal with an infant in distress. Only later did she learn that the infant she helped save was actually the baby of her grand-niece.
   One of my service-learning students at Temple University once recommended the movie “Pay It Forward,” starring Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey. Based loosely on the novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde, paying it forward is a way each of us can improve the world by performing favors for people without expectation of direct compensation. Instead, each recipient is encouraged to pay the favor forward, by acting positively to help three others. In contrast to the calculus of direct cost/benefit return to self, benefits are magnified exponentially.
Hyde even established a Pay It Forward Foundation, with educational resources for communities and links to similar efforts. Is it too idealistic or touchy-feely to really work?
    The Web site, www.payitforwardfoundation.org, quotes a poignant scene in the novel:
“‘Don’t ask me if people will really pay it forward,’ Reuben says.  ‘Tell me. Will you?  Will each of you really do it? It’s your world. So, you decide.’ ”
    Well, what will you decide?
    A freelance writer for 30 years and award-winning consultant, Ann L. Rappoport, Ph.D., can be reached at rapporules@gmail.com.